Part 2

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Was it when I was downsized and lost my first job? We were married just a few months then. He'd convinced me that finishing school was a waste of time and money. Maybe it was. I stayed home then, got out of touch with almost everyone – family and friends.

Was it when I had the first miscarriage? Jack accidentally knocked me down the steps. He was under so much pressure and stress and had started drinking then, but only sometimes.

Maybe it was when our son was born and the baby got more attention than him. I'd tried so hard to take care of our baby and please Jack. It was never enough. He was so angry. I wasn't supportive enough when he needed me. It didn't matter that we were having another child and I was exhausted. My job is wife and mother, and I'd failed him as a wife. I'm failing as a wife.

I shake my head, releasing more of the tears that have gathered in the corners of my eyes. They mix with the blood. All I'm missing is sweat. But I know in this August heat in Georgia, that will come too.

It might have been when I messed up and got pregnant again. Jack was already out of work. Jobs here are hard to come by, and if I'd been there for him he probably would've kept his. He wouldn't stay so worried about taking care of me and our three kids.

At least, the baby was okay. I was okay. I'd caught myself before stumbling on the toolbox tucked into the stairs. I couldn't see it over my growing belly. I still wonder how he'd managed to set it down and forget it there.

Was it always like this? My fingers gingerly pick up a large piece of glass and put it in the dustpan. I need to hurry before he comes back in. And if one of the kids gets up in the middle of the night, I don't want them to cut their feet. If Junior wakes, he'll probably yell at me for leaving glass on the floor.

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If you or someone you know is in an abusive or potentially abusive relationship, get help. It might save a life. National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

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