pretty boy ; malum

07| THE DRUNK

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Calum doesn't watch the interview. He lays in bed for hours, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what possessed Michael to kiss him. He groans. Michael is making him weaker by the day, opening him up, making him feel, making him talk, doing things he never thought he'd do. He feels possessed, like a witch is walking around with a voodoo doll, stabbing his chest.

He hears the front door being unlocked, but knows just by the sound that it's Ashton, his boots clicking on the hardwood floor of the hallway leading up to Calum's room. The Maori doesn't move a muscle, barely blinking as Ashton stands above him, hazel eyes boring down into his. "So, did you like it?" Ashton asks, grinning. "Did Mikey make your heart stop?" He pushes, poking Calum's face.

Calum puts his head in the pillows, a mess of curls being the only thing above the sheets. "Fuck off." He moans before glaring at his manager.

Ashton lays next to him, ignoring his statement altogether as he speaks in a cheery tone, "You know, I remember when I was in-denial. It was a tough time." He only gets a grunt as an answer, so pulls the covers off, revealing the boxer wearing nothing but underwear and a sour expression. Ashton revels in his frustration. "I'm kidding. Tell me what happened."

Calum watches his manager tentatively, unsure if he can speak without getting abused. "I don't even know why I told you," he starts, "it's not like it meant anything."

Ashton stands, pulling the blinds back to reveal the grey sky as he nods sarcastically, "Right." He says. "Calum, you realise he's the only one you pay attention to, right?"

The Maori sits up, face scrunched in confusion, "I pay attention to lots of people." He defends, annoyed with the accusation. Michael is the only one around, how could he not pay attention to him?

Ashton is nowhere near done. He clasps his hands together, talking slowly. "You defended him on Twitter," he says, interrupting as Calum tries to speak, "you held his hand," he looks at Calum, sitting across from him, "you have let him get away with calling you pet-names, you have let him touch you in less than three months and for me - your best friend - it took you a year to shake my hand,"

Calum is insistent, crossing his arms like a toddler, "So what?"

Ashton sighs, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Think about it,"

Calum stands up, walking away from the situation. "This is ridiculous." He vents, changing as he ignores whatever his friend is trying to say. He stomps out to the hallway, Ashton following him as he starts to open the door. "You think I'm in love with some guy? Here's the kicker - I ain't fuckin' gay!" Calum slams the door behind him, leaving Ashton in the dust.

Calum drinks for hours, finding the closest club until he's barely able to think anymore. The time goes by, and people are starting to recognise who he is. The music is so loud it feels like it is inside of his head. He dances in purple lights and fog, lost in the crowd as sings and yells at the top of his lungs. Nobody can hear him, and he loves it. He's forgotten what that's like.

He collapses onto a stool, not able to find his balance. The bartender refuses to serve him. Calum is so drunk that most of what he has been ordering has ended up on his shirt, but he doesn't care. He's not thinking about Michael. The thought of not thinking about him only makes him more easy to imagine. He wonders how Michael dances. He wonders how Michael thinks.

He suddenly feels sick. He's not sure if it's the tequila or his own emotions. He looks up at the bartender, who is trying to say something to him, but he can't make it out. It finally comes a minute later, "Is there anyone I can call?"

Calum can only think of one word. Michael. He just has trouble saying it. He covers his face with his hands. Everything is a little too much. Finally, he gives the bartender his phone, mumbling Michael's name under his breath before his body finally drops, his head meeting with the bar-top. His eyes close. He feels it all fade away.

He wakes in a dark room, still drunk as he tries to stand. He looks around, spotting children's toys in the corner. Is he dreaming? He wonders. Is he young again? Is his Dad going to hurt him? He hears footsteps, and shrinks himself into the corner, holding his breath.

"Calum," he hears before the door is burst open. He shields himself, squeezing his eyes shut as he gets himself ready for the blow.

"Dad, please," he manages to say, turning his face into the wall.

"Puppy," comes a voice. It's gentle. Not like his father's. "I'm not him."

The lights turn on as Calum opens his eyes. He can see more clearly, now. The heavy footsteps are now small pitter-patters, and the large shadow is now small and meek. It's Michael. It's only Michael. Calum relaxes, large hand holding his heart as he collapses to the floor. The bleached blond crouches down to his level, talking in a hushed voice, "It's just me, okay?"

The Maori can feel himself start to shake. "Don't hurt me." He pleads, putting his head on his knees.

Michael is careful not to touch him, seeing Ashton and Luke watching in the hallway, concerned. He sits next to the Maori, who has wars inside his mind. "Calum," he says carefully, "I'd never hurt you."

Calum can barely hear Michael's voice. He's too busy focusing on what's inside, on his father, on his bruises. His thoughts are interrupted by pressure around his thumb. He snaps up, about to run away, but catches himself. It's a hand. There are fingers around his thumb. The touch tingles him, sends him back to reality.

"Michael," he says, relieved.

Michael smiles. Thank God. "Yeah, that's me."

Calum stands, too embarrassed to cry as he walks out of the hallway and into Ashton's arms. Ashton holds him like he would hold his child, putting his head on top of the Maori's as he lets him sob. "This is why you don't get angry at me and get drunk, okay?" He says worriedly. "You always remember stuff."

Michael didn't know a kiss was going to get them in so much trouble.

Well that's what you get for kissing people

Ok hi how are you all?

Thoughts on Calum's reaction? Him getting drunk and scared?

Do you think it was dumb of Michael to kiss him?

Thoughts on Calum being in-denial?

Thoughts on this chapter?