Death's Daughter (Black Butler)

Chapter Nineteen: Reaping

After William's visit on Christmas Morning, the weeks and days quickly slipped away from me and somehow it had become January. From Christmas to New Year's Eve, I noticed that none of the reapers received a holiday break. Observing that helped me realize that death doesn't wait for anyone, not even my own subject. I had been counting down the days until the day I was supposed to reap Lillian's soul, which had become the eleventh of that month. As much as I wished that I could simply avoid that day, but now it had come for Lillian and I at long last. 

I sat on the couch, my arms stiff to my sides and my legs crossed over each other. I tapped my bottom foot up and down, my anxiety making it impossible for my body to stay still for even a minute. I lifted one of my hands up, biting on my nails. My eyes darted around, looking around the still room. For the past few weeks I had been wishing that time would fly by quicker so that it would be quicker to get done and over with. My prayers seemed to have been answered, at least up until the day of the actual reaping. Each minute felt like an hour and every hour felt like an eternity. 

Ronald walked into the room, sitting down on the couch opposite of me. I looked up to him and he flashed me a compassionate smile and a thumbs-up, as if encouraging me. I knew that he was trying to help raise my spirits, and I appreciated the thought, but there was nothing he could do at this point to make me feel better. I sighed, tilting my head down and looking down at a corner where the walls intersected, away from Ronald. "How is she?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer. I had been asking Ronald the same question ever since he had first visited Lillian on his own. 

I glanced back up, just in time to see Ronald shrug and shake his head. "She's been getting worse," he stated. The answer was the same that it was everyday. Since I was prohibited from even seeing Lillian, I wasn't allowed to give her food anymore, which was bringing her state down.  It wasn't like I was suspecting that she'd somehow miraculously get better, I just wanted closure. Ronald bit his lip, his eyes slowly moving over to the wall. "It's getting obvious that her time is coming near. She's just skin and bone now, and her skin is sickly pale. I feel bad that I can't do anything for her," he said.

"So do I," I said with a nod, tears beginning to form in my eyes. I let out a long sigh, covering my face with my hands. I leaned backwards into the couch, facing the ceiling. After a moment of staring blankly above me, I groaned, looking back to my lap. "If I hadn't built up a relationship with the kid, I wouldn't be in this situation right now," I stated out loud, my mouth curling into a frown, "I wouldn't have been so desperate to try and save her and I wouldn't be freaking out about it like I am now. I brought all of this onto myself."

After a brief period of silence between us, Ronald spoke up. "It's not your fault, she was a sweet kid," he said, standing up from the couch and walking over to the one I sat on. He sat down next to me and put a hand on my back, rubbing it up and down comfortingly. "Now, I want you to go out there and do a great job. Show him you're as good as him, if not better."

I chuckled, wiping away a few fallen tears as I sniffled. I shook my head slightly, twisting my head to face Ronald. "That sounds exactly like something Alan would tell me," I laughed under my breath as I turned back away from him. As the name rolled off of my tongue, my thoughts wandered over to Alan. I hadn't seen him around the dispatch much, which made me wonder about his condition and the Thorns of Death. I was already paranoid about Lillian as it was, and the thought of Alan succumbing to the disease was more than enough to make me sick. 

More silence surrounded us. Ronald began to chuckle, causing me to turn my attention to him. "I'm going to tell you the difference between me and Mister Humphries. On one hand, there's Mister Humphries. He wants you to do this because, well, he wants you to prove to Mister Spears that humans are just as strong as reapers. That you're as just as strong as reapers, strong enough to be one yourself. Now, on the other hand, there's me, who just wants you to do this so you can prove to Mister Spears what a pain in the a-"