Alex

ONE

I have never been comfortable sleeping in front of people.  Ever since I was little.  In all honesty, I can't remember a time when I didn't try to sleep somewhere away from everyone else.  As a kid, at sleepovers, I would hide my blankets in a corner and stay up as late as I could so that no one saw me sleeping- and then I'd get up early so I could pack up my things.  Why did I do that?  Because, even as a high school student, I still wet the bed.  

It's been blamed on a number of things- nightmares, trauma from when I was younger, dehydration, lack of sleep, and so many others- but nothing is quite right.  It's half of the reason I didn't have anyone to leave behind when I left Nevis.  The other reason was my family.  

See, when I was younger, I didn't have many friends.  Part of me blamed myself, but I'll never forget what my mother told me when I asked her why no one ever invited me over: "People only like people who are like them."  I knew I was different from the beginning.  First, my mom and dad weren't married.  Then, of course, was the fact that the mean my mom was married to hated me and my brother.  And then dad left when I was ten and James was fourteen.  To make matters even worse, when I was twelve, and James sixteen, Mum got sick and left us both behind.  I remember following the funeral train, feet bare and borrowed suit for too large, to where she laid for the next five years.  But then a hurricane struck.  The island was ripped apart, and to this day, I'm not even sure whether my mother still resides there.  

That's how I ended up here- New York City.  I wrote this letter, to my father- I still wonder whether he ever saw it- about the hurricane, and this man I was working for found it and insisted that I go to New York and get a better education.  So that's where I am.  New York City. 

***

I groaned as I cracked my eyes open.  "Morning, son," said the man standing over me.  He reached down to touch my shoulder and my initial reaction was to flinch away.  He frowned down at me, and my shoulders drooped.  You've been here twelve hours and you've already fucked up, Alex, I scolded myself.  Great job.  

I grunted, forcing myself to relax in case I had insulted the man- George Washington, I believe was his name.  I couldn't quite remember.  I was in his home for the time being- his foster home.  He had four other boys there, who I'd yet to meet, and two boys that he and his wife had adopted, all around the same age as me.  I honestly felt bad for him.  

I sat up, wincing as the air hit my back and nearly froze me to death.  It was only October, but I was still used to the warm air of Nevis, and besides, the air usually feels cold when I wake up after wetting the bed.  I glanced down at the bedsheets, my face flaring up into a bright red, a mixture of anger and embarrassment.  I prepared myself for the man's anger, knowing it must be coming soon.  But when he didn't say anything, I risked an upwards glance.  

Mr. Washington was staring at the bed.  He glanced at me, and I involuntarily flinched again.  His frown deepened and he sighed.  "Climb out of bed," he instructed me.  "I'll get your laundry.  Just leave your clothes outside the bathroom door. "  I was too surprised to do anything but nod.

I scrambled out of bed and made my way down the hall.  As I undressed, I stared at myself in the mirror.  As always, my hair looked greasy, despite the fact that I washed it every other day.  My face wasn't so bad, but my nose just didn't seem to quite fit.  Then I glanced down at the rest of me.  My arms were covered in scars, some from the hurricane and some from a pocketknife.  My stomach had similar lines, but those were from a razorblade, one I'd held in my own hand.  I stared at myself a minute longer, hating everything I saw, before climbing in the shower.  

As the scalding hot water ran over my body, I let my thoughts wander back to Nevis.  To the mediocre conditions I'd had before my mother died, when I at least knew I was loved.  To my mother's death and my father's disappearance.  I even let myself wonder about my brother, who'd disappeared not long after the hurricane.  I closed my eyes as images of my life after the hurricane flashed in front of me, unbidden and unwanted.  

I would have stayed that way for longer if it wasn't for a boy who raced into the bathroom and pulled the shower curtains back.  Before I had a second to question what was going on, freezing cold ice water was dumped over my head.  I gasped, but apparently I wasn't as shocked as my attacker was. 

"You- You're a girl!"

[872 words; a/n: hello, hello, hello! feel free to be disappointed in the fact that this is not an update for burn, Peace of Mind, or any of my other semi-popular fics but!! my friend said i should write about the things that I do in a day so I'm changing up the situation a little bittle but let's have fun with this, eh? and i promise i'll update the others soon, though i might say i'm taking a semi-hiatus because i can't be on very often.  i don't know yet.  love y'all, though!!]