Insta - Zarry au

11

Zayns pov

Life was tough, you could say. Leaving one direction was like a new path for me, it was me taking my own direction, the way I wanted to go in life. I also though that this would help me and my mental health as everyone knew I was suffering in 1D but recently, it had gotten worse...

Let me explain.

*flashback 1 month after Zayn left*
"Harry!" I spoke loud but softly.
"Listen, Zayn, I care a lot about you but please...don't call me again"
"Har-" But I didn't get to finish my sentence as the phone line went silent after a short beep.
I felt a soft tear fall down my face which shocked me as I didn't even realise the sudden pain this situation was causing me until that moment.
All I wanted to do was to explain myself properly to him, to apologise but he wasn't having any of it...
*end of flashback*

*2 months after Zayn had left*
'Please leave your message after the beep...'
"Hey haz. I....I just wanted to call to see how your doing. Please call me, I just want to talk"

But again....he just never called back.

*3 months after Zayn had left*
'Please leave your message after the beep...'
"Hello Harry. Please let me explain. Call me.."

That was the 6th time I had called him that month...

*4 months/ present day*
'Please leave your message after the beep...'
"Hi Harry....I lo-"
But my heart just broke.
I had tried my best, he just didn't want to hear from me anymore.

******

I had called Harry a possible 50 times in the past 4 months, each time I failed to get anything from him, not even a hello.

Today was a Wednesday, and 3 months ago I took a break from social media due to my mental health getting bad. It was bad due to the extreme amount of hate I was getting each day since I had left, now I know what your thinking, 'celebs' just learn to deal with it. Yeah they do but every once in a while we all can't deal with it any more, can we?

But that wasn't the worst thing. The worst thing was loosing my 4 brothers. Loosing them really hit me hard, and without the support from them with my anxiety or worries, I felt myself suddenly falling into a hole of problems, I hadn't realised how much they helped me until my breaking point.
I wanted to fix things with them but it seemed impossible. But I guess anything is possible if you really try...
Start with small steps. Learn to walk before you run.

And that's what I was about to do.
My hardest challenge was going to be mending things with Harry but I know that if I can get the help from liam, Louis and Niall then anything is possible.
And now that I had gotten help with stabilising my mental health again, I was finally ready to begin this.

Hi!! Just wanted to clear this chapter up. This chapter was sort of a little look inside Zayns brain to see what's going on in his head, and also just to give you guys a better understanding on what's going on.
There will be more chapters like this throughout.

Anyway next chapter will be back to the story.