Cross My Heart

Sadness and death

The light of the new dawn woke me and I slowly blinked. We lay there under the covers, his arms wrapped around my waist as he snored softly. His breath tickled my neck and I tried not to giggle as I gently rolled onto my back. I studied his face, each imperfection. I gently traced over his unruly eyebrows and softly poked his barely there freckle. I traced his lips, and suddenly he captured my finger in his mouth and I screamed in fright.

"Thanks for waking me", he chuckled. I quickly brought my hand back to my side and glared at him. "Hey don't frown baby".

"Why'd you have to wake up?" I complained. "You're so cute and quiet when you're asleep", I pouted and he stuck his tongue out at me.

"Oh whatever, you should be happy that I woke up because now we can do something fun", he suggested and I rolled my eyes. "Oh come on baby girl, why do you always have to be so lazy". He flopped his head back onto his pillow and sighed in exasperation. I shrugged and began to get out of bed but his arm swooped over and trapped me. I glared at him and tried to wriggle free but he just pulled me closer to his body.

"Okay now you are just being rude Luke", I groaned as his phone dinged. He let go of me and reached over to check it. "Wow you never check on me that quick", I commented but I stopped talking as soon as I saw the look on his face.

"Oh", he sighed sadly and my face scrunched up in confusement. What was wrong with him? I reached over to grab his arm confortingly but he shrugged me off and got out of bed. "I have to go home", he said quietly and I could see the tears he was fighting back.

"Luke, whats going on?" I questioned. "Is it something i did?"

"Goddammit Hayley", he snapped and I took a step back. "Everything is not all about you. I have to go home for my mom". I bit my tongue and sat on the edge of my bed as he hurried around the room putting his clothes back on. When he got dressed, he returned over to me and placed a small kiss on my forehead. "Sorry for snapping baby, I'm just upset. Mom just texted me there and said that my grandad died last night", he said carefully as if he was trying to hold himself back from breaking down. I knew he didn't want to cry in front of me, he hated displaying any kind of weakness. He classed crying as being weak.

"Oh Luke", I gasped and reached to put my arms around huis neck but he took a step back. "Do you want me to come with you?" I asked and he shook his head.

"No its okay, I 'd rather be on my own with my family right now", he explained and i nodded my head understandingly, but really I felt hurt, I was his girlfriend. I was the one who was meant to comfort him when he was in pain. I hated when he pushed me away. Luke walked away then and I let him. He needed to cry in peace, in his car before he returned home where he had to be strong for his mother. I put on an oversized jumper and some pajama shorts and made my way downstairs where my mother was making breakfast.

"Hi sweetie", she greeted me and I smiled a little and put on the kettle. "Oh you're making tea, would you mind making me a cup too?" she asked, well more like stated. I took two mugs from the press and continued to make the tea.

"Luke's granddad died", I said quietly.I had to tell someone. I couldn't sit here and pretend that everything was peachy, when it clearly wasn't.

"Oh god, is he okay?" she asked and I shrugged.

"He doesn't like displaying his emotions like that", I explained and she shrugged.

"He's like you so", she laughed and i rolled my eyes and left the kitchen with my cup of tea. Whenever I tried to talk to her about anything, she always tried to make a joke. I was sick of it. I went upstairs and got into bed and took a sip from my warm tea which helped to warm me up. My phone buzzed with a message from Conor.