Million Paper Cuts

Chapter 3

My mother is downstairs sleeping..I think. I get out of bed and walk downstairs only in boxers. I look on the island in the middle of the kitchen.

There was a note on it. It looks as if it is a post-it note. I walk over and pick it up and read it:

"I'm so sorry for being here in your life. Ashton, if you are reading this, I just want you to know that I always loved you and you will always be my baby boy. For my husband, I just want to say that you were such a disgrace to this family. I should have never married you! You can not be in this family anymore! Fuck off! I'm done with this life. You ruined me and my life. You ruined my family and the child I gave birth to.

-Mom/ Heather."

I put down the note and start to tear up.

I walk down the hall to her room. I stop in fear and felt my anxiety to kick in.

It was too quiet in the house. Is she okay? I run up to the door and knocked.

No answer.

I open it to see my mother dead. I walk up to her shaking, and weak. I felt dizzy.

I reach out and touch her and felt that she was cold. You can see she had taken drugs, there was an empty bottle right beside her that seemed to have fallen out of her palm.

I run up to her and held her in my arms. Broken down in tears, I held her close to my heart and reach for my phone.

I look for her pulse. Nothing.

I start to dial 911.

-Talking to the police-

"911. What's your emergency?"

"It's my mother! S-she overdosed on drugs and I don't know what to do! "

"Please calm down. I am sending the police there right away. Just hang on. Please tell me your address."

"It's 1298 Thorn St."

"Stay on the line, we will be there as soon as possible."

-End of conversation-

I start to shake even more and break down into tears.

The police arrive 5 minutes later and took her away from my arms and drove her to the hospital.

My father came with while I was left behind, sitting on the floor.

...

I immediately wake up. I cried in my sleep? Why? I now remember, this was when my mother past away. All them horrid memories.

I look around and saw that I was in my bedroom. Alone. I start to toss and turn while scratching my wrist.

I usually always itch my wrists when I need to cut. I don't do this usually, but today was the night to do so.

I look over to my clock and see that it is 2 a.m. and it is a Saturday night.

"God damn it." I whisper to myself.

I get up and go to my bathroom and did my business. I search in the cabinets to find my blade. No luck.

I go out of the bathroom and look under my bed. Shit, its not there. I look in my drawers. Still I can't find my fucking razors. I lift up my mattress and look under there.

Oh, I finally found em. That shiny, sharp, gray razor blade.

He will always be my friend but also be my enemy all at the same time. I grab the blade in such a hurry and sat on the floor and took off all my bracelets.

I sit there in the dark and in silence. I look down at my wrist and take my blade and hold it there.

I stop and stare at it.

I drop my hand and drop the blade.

Fuck this.

I grab my phone and go through my contacts, finding Jacob's number. I click on his name and press on the call button.

His phone starts to ring, as I am sitting there impatiently listening.

"Hello?"

"I need you."