Make Your Move

Chapter 9- Give Me an Answer

Chapter 9

 

Date: March 9th

Location: Aura’s bedroom, Guardian Base

Time: 2:10 a.m.

 

Sitting on my bed wrapped up in my covers wasn’t going to fix anything, it wasn’t going to fix Michael’s injuries and it wasn’t going to erase Valentin’s brutality, but for now it felt like it could. The blankets shielded me from everything and everyone, amazing what satin can do during stressful times.

“Aura?” I peek my head out of the covers to see Matt walk in, his hands raised in defense. “You ok?”

“What do you think?” I mumbled and then pulled the covers back over me. This was time for sleep and bed and to put off things like your boyfriend going a little crazy.

“Hey, remember only one person is allowed to be crazy or have an emotional melt down at a time,” I felt the bed dip and his body heat.

Sighing I pushed the covers back and sat up, wondering how much he knew. The Guardians base was like high school and the hottest gossip traveled like wild fire. There was no hiding it. The only benefit right now was that it was so early that people were still asleep and may not hear about it, but they would eventually.

“Do you think a person can change?” I ask him after a few moments of silence.

“I think sometimes a person will want to change, but they can’t, or sometimes they can,” Matt rambles on. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Try.”

“Well,” He begins again. “I believe there’s an age limit to where people are still allowed to change. The older you get the smaller the changes you make. When we get older, there’s some part of us that will want to change, but they can’t. If they wanted to be smarter or thinner those changes can still be made, but when it comes to how we act and how we feel,” Matt trails off and shakes his head. “You can’t. You can say you want to feel a certain way but you can’t force yourself to do it, you’re just acting. When you’re acting it’s not good for you or the people around you, because one day you’re going to get tired of acting.”

Was that what Valentin was going through right now? Were we all wrong into thinking he could be a dark hero, someone who would kill the people who deserved it? Was he really just a person to kill just because he wanted to? Yes he wanted to kill Michael and he had reason, but he should have known that with Michael being with us the man had some value to him? Did the endgame even matter anymore?

My thoughts kept swirling faster and faster and the questions kept piling up. Half of them couldn’t be answered and the other half I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be answered. The truth was so cold and cruel, that lies were often the ones I wanted to embrace, but never could.

Groaning I put my head in my hands trying to shut out the voice in my head that asks question after question. Panic swells within me as I try and think of what I would have to do and tears leak out of the corner of my eyes.

“Aura?” Matt’s concerned voice broke through the haze and he reaches around to rub my back soothingly. “What’s wrong? Tell me how I can help?”

“I just want to stop thinking,” I choked out and let more tears fall.

What if I couldn’t do this? What if I was the one acting and now I was breaking? So many people still needed my help and relied on me to do the right thing. However, the last time I thought I was doing the right thing I ended up with a bullet in my chest and waking up in a coffin. It was something I never wanted to repeat.