Forbidden love

What?!

Josh and I were hanging at my house. He staying over since he's worried about me but I'm fine just a little distracted. I keep thinking about my dad and then I feel horrible about myself and I cry. I just miss him though. A lot. Josh was hugging me and stroking my hair as we sat on the couch. I kinda just got pulled back in reality when josh said I was crying again. He was whispering soothing things to me when my came back from town. She said she had a meeting with someone. She sat on the couch and held my hand in between both of hers. "Lacey honey I just meet with Dr.Smith. She thinks you should go talk to her. " I looked at my mom and said"i don't want to. I'm fine. " She sighed and said" Lacey you need help. I'm worried. Your going. " I shook my head no and pulled away from her. "Why do I need help? You said there's nothing wrong with me. That I don't need to be fixed. Help fixes you. I'm fine and I'm not going. You can't make me. Therapy is for people with problems. " She looked down"i know ..." what?"you know? you know what? That I have a problem but I don't. I don't have a problem. " I had tears now and josh hugged me and was shushing me but my mom said" Lacey I am your mother and your going. End of discussion. " I squirmed out if Josh's arms and ran out the back door. They both called for me but I used to run track so I was super fast. I sprinted into the trees for about 20 minutes and that's when my legs when got tired. I climbed the tree next to me and hid the leaves and cried. I cried and cried and cried. I could hear josh calling for me but I didn't move. I was frozen. My shirt was wet with sweat and tears and I still cried. Josh called for me for about an hour and that's when my tears stopped. I sat there and sniffled and whimpered till I heard footsteps and saw josh. He heard me and looked up. "Lacey?" he said in a calm voice. "Come down please?" I shook my head and my weak voice said"no. I want to stay here. " He sighed and said"but I need you to come down." I shook my head and said"no. You guys all think I'm crazy and gave a problem. Her I can be alone with my voices and be myself without having to go to therapy. " He climbed up and hugged me. I buried my face in my chest and he said"then talk to me. What are those voices saying?" I sniffled and said"everything. They just ramble about me and you and my mom and my dad and then I get these thoughts that my dad abandoned me or he died it he hates me and then I cry. There's nothing wrong with me. "He kissed my forehead and said"i don't think so either but won't you feel better if you talk to someone. " I looked at him and said"no. I just want to talk to you. Not doctors. " He kissed my cheek and said"ok. Ok you can talk to me. " I hugged him and tried to talk but it wouldn't come out. Of anyone found out what I'm thinking they will definitely think I'm crazy. I laid in his arms until I gent my eyelids getting heavy. I pulled away and silently but swiftly climbed down the tree with josh following me. He put his arm around me and we walked to my house. "Lacey drew get your ass in your room now!" my mom said firmly just as I stepped inside. Josh kissed my forehead and I silently walk to my room as josh sat on the couch. I closed the door and climbed under the covers. A few minutes later the front door was closing and I looked out the window. Josh smiled at me weakly and blew me a kiss. I smiled back and he got on his bike before driving away.my mom walked in and said"sit." I sat on the floor and she said"lacey you never and I mean never run off like that again!" I look at her and she said" I know your confused about your dad. It's time I tell you what really happened. " She sighs and I can feel myself getting eager. "Your dad and I met in high school. We fell in love and got married and had you. When you were six I caught him cheating in me with my best friend. We decided to tell you that he was in the military. It was best for you not to know. " I can feel my blood pulsing with anger. "I'm almost 17 and you haven't told me?! you thought it was best for me to always feel a longing in my heart!? to always gave an empty spot that only a dad can fill!? watching every girl get to walk down an isle with their dad or on Father's Day when they take then to school!? I can't believe you!" I stood up tears streaming my cheek and said" I have to go cool off don't wait up. " I grabbed a black jacket and put in my black leather boots and grabbed my phone. I ran down the stairs with my mom trailing behind me. I ran out the front door and down the side walk. I ran to the only place I need right now. My old sanctuary that numbs pain. The bar where Joey hangs out.