junky || Ciaran McDonald

9

As I stood at the door, I could not bring myself to knock. After two-minutes of starring at a blank door. I got the courage to knock.

"Go away! I want to be alone." 

"Come on Merlyn! please? I just want to talk." After a minute of silence, I spoke again. "I don't care if you want me to be here and talk this through with you, but I'll be right here on the other side of the door."

I sat myself down and put my back against the door. I placed my ear against the door and I swear I heard soft cries. My heart was breaking as I heard that sound. 

After an hour passed Ciaran, came over to me. "Go away."

"Come on, Eo."

"Only Merlyn can call me that." Ciaran didn't even try and just left. As Ciaran's footsteps faded away, another voice came up.

"Come in." It was faint, but it was there. I pushed myself up and opened the door before he could change his mind. All the curtains were closed and the lights were off. The room was almost completely black, except the door was open supplying light. As I closed the door behind me I made my way over to the bed and sat down on the end. 

"Hey." He didn't respond, and I didn't know what else to say; and what I was saying I was not thinking about. "I'm going to be straight up with you, Merlyn. I did kiss Ciaran. I don't want to lie to you and say I didn't enjoy it. I'm sorry if it seemed like I was leading you on."

"I just feel so stupid. I really thought you liked me."

"Um, you're not stupid. That's not how your name is pronounced."

"Okay, Cleo. No, that's not even the lyric." He said with a slight smile in his voice. "Don't call me stupid that ain't the way my name pronounced." 

"Don't call me cupid, I've got to many hoes right now." Sweet was probably in my top five Brockhampton songs and I was getting myself excited by just singing it. "Poolside in Houston, tryna see if Beyonce will take me for adoption." I had no clue I was screaming the lyrics to the song until, Merlyn told me to calm down.  "Sorry, I just really like the lyrics." I said with a giggle. 

As silence filled the room, I changed demeanors. "Merlyn, you deserve the absolute best in life. I know I can't give that to you so you should find someone that can give you 110. Remember you will always be my first love." I got up and started walking away. 

"Thank you, Eo. You'll always be mine too."

I exited the room to see Ian approaching with food, probably for Merlyn. He just starred in me in shock as I left the door. It was 2 AM.

"How did he let you in. We've been trying all day." 

"I guess you just had to wait." I said, I was tired and needed to go to bed. I walked past Ciaran's room and debated going in. I passed though and headed to the place I love more than anywhere else, my bed.