Kissing 101 - Double B

twenty

They were lying on Jiwon's bed at three am, the curtains open and moonlight shining through the curtains even as hazy wisps of white light were starting to break through to show signs of dawn. The lamp on the bedside table was the only other source of light as Hanbin lay on top of Jiwon, kissing the elder gently as his hands cupped his face as lightly as he could and Jiwon was holding onto him loosely, arms around the younger's waist with their legs tangled up in each other's and chests pressed together so their hearts were so close. Jiwon would feel a sense of fatigue wash over him every now and then but whenever Hanbin told him to sleep, he'd shake his head and kiss the younger's beautiful lips before stirring awake again because Hanbin was the best alternative for caffeine.

"I'm not dreaming, right?" Jiwon whispered once they broke away for what seemed like good, and Jiwon's eyes fluttered shut when Hanbin kissed his temple. "You're not going to disappear at the stroke of midnight?"

"It's well past midnight, hyung, so I'm pretty sure I'm here to stay."

"What happened in the space of, what, twenty hours? One minute you wanted to leave me behind, and the next...this."

Hanbin sighed, starting to move so he could get off of Jiwon but the elder started holding on tighter, raising a hand to the back of Hanbin's head and pulling it down gently so it could rest on his chest. Hanbin exhaled heavily, closing his eyes as he listened to Jiwon's calm heartbeat for a moment before saying quietly, "A lot of things happened."

Jiwon nodded, understanding, then hesitating before he said, "Do you know that something happened between Jinhwan-hyung and-"

"He kissed Junhoe. I know."

"Yeah," Jiwon muttered, stroking Hanbin's head apologetically and even though Hanbin didn't want nor did he deserve pity, he let Jiwon do it. "Junhoe told me about it earlier today. He's been acting funny since the morning, in such a grumpy mood but when we talked he actually looked like he wanted to cry. You know Junhoe never cries."

"What did he say?"

"He just told me that he was terrified that you'd hate him and your friendship would be over and it'd all be Jinhwan's fault, you know, the usual."

"Jesus Christ, I would never. I always believe every word that Junhoe says, he's the most trustworthy person I know. Jinhwan-hyung really likes him..."

"Wait, he does? Like seriously seriously? That's so stupid."

Hanbin only shrugged in reply, closing his eyes as the soft material of Jiwon's shirt rubbed gently against his cheek and it was the perfect thing to make all of this seem more real, less fantastical as if it was all in their heads but it wasn't and the thought made Hanbin's heart just want to explode. After so long, everything might end up okay.

"When did you realise you liked me, hyung?"

"Ah...that's quite a question," Jiwon said quietly, dropping his hand away from Hanbin's head and then the younger reached out and took it in his, intertwining their fingers. Holding hands was kind of a foreign concept for them and it made Jiwon smile shyly, raising his head to peck Hanbin's lips once. "It was a few weeks ago. It just kind of came to me, I realised I adored you a little too much, you made me happy in an instant, I felt all sorts of fireworks and sparks, you lit my heart on fire. And I'm not the type to ignore or deny that kind of thing...I just accepted it and waited to get my heart broken."

"Why didn't you just stop this earlier? Us?"

"I...I just, I was too in love with you," Jiwon muttered, looking so ashamed of himself. "I couldn't bear to. I was selfish, I wanted you just for a bit longer no matter the circumstances."