Take On Me, a Joanne story

Londons burning

A/N TRIGGER WARNING ( mentions attempted suicide, depression and abuse )

Joe's POV

We didn't really talk much as we got dressed to leave the house, Dianne wasn't in the mood and I didn't want to stress her further, I had no idea what was going through her head, and frankly, I was worried.

The couple picked up a few of their essential belongings and called a cab.

Dianne's POV 

I hate being dependent on others absolutely hate it, I've been conditioned into thinking it makes me weak, and I detest that thought. I must remember, I am fierce, I am strong, I am Dianne.

Taking a deep breath, I pick up my handbag and give Joe the address to my dedicated clinic, for whilst I'm staying here in London. 

It only takes a few minutes for it to arrive and once it does we stumble in, Joe gives me a reassuring smile, placing his hand on my knee, I feel reluctant to respond but don't want to panic him further so I make simple eye contact, showing him that I am worried.

Once we arrive at the clinic we check in and wait to be given a time to for my appointment. "ughh" Joe sighs, but instantly regretting it, not wanting to seem like he doesn't have the time to wait, "45 minutes to go". 

"What do you want to do?" Joe questions. "do you want to take a walk around the garden?" "sure" Dianne responds, hoping some fresh air would help relieve some of the stress she was feeling.

On their way out, they grab some breakfast to take and enjoy outside.

Joe's POV

I could see that Dianne was nervous, and I wanted to support her, but I was unsure what she was going through, let alone why she was here at this clinic. "Dianne" I exhale, sitting down on a bench turning to face her, "you don't have to answer this if you don't want to but, what is this appointment for?"

Dianne exhales sitting down, by her partner.

"Okay, I'm only telling you this because you have helped me so much, but please do not tell anyone what I am about to tell you, the only other people who know are my doctors and therapists." the redhead sighs.

"I promise Di, you know you can tell me anything, I'm here for you and I mean it."

"When I was younger I was happy, my birth parents were together, and we all lived in a lovely house on the coast of Australia. Everything changed when my parents got a divorce, for reasons I couldn't understand when I was 4 years old. This is when I started dance lessons, which my nana paid for, she hoped this hobby would distract me, and since then it had been my only healthy coping method. Soon after the divorce, my mom got remarried to this horrible man. He has emotionally and mentally abused me ever since. My mom hasn't been great to me either, she's scared of him so she doesn't try to help me, I have learned to be independent of a very young age. However I didn't have the knowledge on how to deal with everything at the time, this has left me with anxiety, depression and trust issues.

Joe's POV

I could tell this was painful for Dianne to talk about, her eyes were fixated on a tree, she looked like a sad statue, I placed my arm around her and kissed her forehead. 

I'm constantly doubting myself as my family have made me feel like I am good enough. Two years ago, it all go too much. In the winter of 2016, I was very, very low and I attempted suicide. I felt so trapped I didn't know what else to do, I even gave up dancing temporarily." 

"Oh Di" I break down, my head falling into my hands...'No' i think to myself, 'I must be strong for her'.

"Di, I want to help and support you by doing whatever it takes to make you feel better, you do not deserve this."

Dianne's POV 

I smile up at Joe, 'what did i do to deserve him?'

"I'm here today because I used to have to take antidepressants, daily, but since joining Strictly again this year, I have been assessed by my doctor and told I no longer need them. I was so relieved, I'm so thankful that they help my mental health, but boy..." I laugh "they muck my physical health up big time! They make me throw up daily and give me the worst headaches, they even affect my senses, to put it nicely, they suck."

"A few years back, I dyed my hair red, I did this because I wanted a constant reminder to myself that I am fierce, I am strong I am Dianne. It sounds cheesy, but I really needed it..." 

"I don't think its cheesy, I think it's really brave of you to do that and you are so very strong for being positive after all you have been through. My sister, Zoe had to have antidepressants too, because of her anxiety, she has similar symptoms too." Joe adds, that reassures me a bit. We're going to go see Zoe and Alfie this week, so maybe I could talk to Zoe then. Even though I have dealt with this pretty much all my life, I have never spoken to someone else, who isn't a doctor or a therapist. 

"Thanks, Joe" I say, giving him a meaningful smile. 

"I was instructed by my doctor back at home, to come straight to this clinic here in London, if I need any mental health support, as they don't want things spiraling out of control like a couple years back..."

"I understand, Di, ill be with you 100% of the way. Don't worry darling, it will be okay."

We made our way back into the waiting room and luckily, after our long talk, we were just in time...

"Dianne Buswell, to room 2 please" A tannoy called.

"this is us." I stood up taking Joe's hand, extremely grateful that he was here to support me.

A/N woooooooh that was tough to write  e-xox