[guardianangel!au] having him by my side was simultaneously the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. It was like seeing my reflection move on its own in the mirror; something so inexplicable that I couldn't help but freeze in my tracks. It was...
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The atmosphere was thick as soup between Hyeokjae and I, and though no one else seemed to notice it, I couldn't help but drown in it. I tried to focus on other things, like the sound of the waves crashing into the sand, or the sound of Aera laughing beside me. And, admittedly, about 80% of the time, it worked. My mind transcended and my thoughts were light and nice.
Until they went back down again.
Then they were heavy, mimicking boulder chains inside my head. And, maybe after that, everyone else seemed to notice the tension too, their sentences growing shorter and their laughs growing more forced.
And at the point that I was snapped out of my thoughts by Aera's loud sigh, I realised I was right.
"So, Hyeokjae. How was your date with Dohyeong yesterday?" She asked, making him look up.
I'm not going to lie, he looked a little like a caged puppy at that moment.
"Um," He avoided my eyes as he replied. "It was fun."
I could tell that wasn't the answer she was looking for as she nodded, "Cool, cool. So, what did you do? Doyeong never told me,"
"Ah" At this point, his eyes momentarily flickered over to me, but they left almost as quickly as they came. "We went out for pizza and then looked around in a bookstore,"
"Oh, really? Dohyeong loves bookstores," Aera said, making me look up into the painfully awkward atmosphere.
"Aera," I whispered, silently begging for her to drop it.
I could tell that she was about to say something else anyway, but Yuta just shook his head, motioning that it was probably enough. She just closed her mouth after that, letting out a soft sigh and nodding.
"Sorry," She mumbled to me, making me shake my head. "Thank you, Aera,"
At that point, she laid her head on my shoulder, and I let her. I knew she was exhausted after the day, having planned and did everything possible to help me with Hyeokjae. I didn't think I told her yet, but I was insanely grateful to her. After all, she was the reason I was even here to think about all of this.
I resisted a sigh at that moment, feeling a little hopeless and way more of a leech than I would've liked.
I suddenly felt bad. It seemed like I depended too much on everyone else to help me. Aera was doing me a huge favour by even just putting up with Hyeokjae and I. But, the truth is, she's done way more to move us along than even I have.
Taeyong was like a safe spot for me, able to provide me comfort in the most important situations. But, irrationally, I felt bad for that too. I feel like I might be exploiting him by receiving reassurance and answers to my questions for nothing in return.
