[guardianangel!au] having him by my side was simultaneously the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. It was like seeing my reflection move on its own in the mirror; something so inexplicable that I couldn't help but freeze in my tracks. It was...
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I didn't know what emotion went through me at that moment, but I could definitely say it wasn't happiness. Not for myself at least. I was feeling somewhere around confused, but just shy of disappointed.
"Ah, I'm sorry." I let out an airy laugh and gave him a small smile. "I feel a little bad now. Since when did you..?"
He seemed to pick up on what I was trying to say almost right away, sitting up straighter and suddenly getting unreasonably uncomfortable. This passed on and made me almost as equally unreasonably sceptical.
"I've been thinking about it for a while, maybe since around Halloween or so, I guess. I know it's caused a lot of grief, and I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, but I just didn't know how to bring it up," His eyes flickered down, making my chest tighten. "You seemed so happy,"
I had always dreamed of getting together with my crush, just like every other 18-year-old girl out there, but hearing this made me feel so utterly heartless. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel like that, especially because of me.
"But," He started again, making me go back into focus. "If it makes you feel any better, you sort of helped me realise,"
I nodded again. It doesn't really.
"You should have told me sooner. I would've understood,"
"I know. I just have a bit of a full plate," He said, smiling almost slyly. It was undoubtedly unintentional but made me raise a brow anyway.
"Full plate? What do you mean by that?"
When he didn't respond, I sucked in a breath, clueless at the atmosphere. I saw the angel give me a thumbs up in the corner of my eye, making my lips tug up into a small smile
"So, in other words, you've got a crush?" I asked, trying to lighten the atmosphere a tinge. He just laughed, shaking his head even when his beet-red ears, admittedly surprisingly, said differently.
I just smiled and nodded, deciding to dismiss it. "So, if you don't mind me asking, does anyone else know?" I asked, a small detail coming to my mind that I thought I should confirm.
"Only Yuta, I think. Why?"
I shook my head, ignoring the thought that had been lingering around my head. If Yuta knew, it was a pretty good bet that Aera did too. And, that was all fine and everything considering that I knew the girl could definitely keep a secret, but this was also the same girl that had been helping me with Hyeokjae for the past couple months.
I'd hoped to get a clarifying answer right away, diminishing the possibility, but with none, I was just left to just wash it away and save it for later.
"Well, that's good. I'm happy for you," I told him, passing him another easy smile. And, though I was definitely disappointed that my crush had just basically told me that he's gay, I was happy for him. If that's what he wanted, then it wasn't like I was going to push.
