our secret | suga x rosé ✔️

ten

ROSÉ'S POV :

2018
it's new years, you're probably wondering. when was the date? how was it? well, we haven't actually went on a date. Yoongi Oppa became super busy and he had a world tour coming up and we couldn't make any plans.

i'm not going to lie, i was a little disappointed but i wouldn't let him know that.

a few months later
 we're preparing for our new comeback, square up. we're working really hard to not disappoint blinks. it's been a long time since we had a song and i know that blinks have been waiting for a comeback. for this, the members and i are working out butts off. 

it seems that the date between me and yoongi oppa has been long forgotten by him, me on the other hand has been worried sick. he hasn't been texting me all these months. hopefully he's fine. i hope he's happy.

3 weeks till comeback.                                                                                                                                                     i've been seeing him on tv a lot, also on the internet. his group has been very successful and going off the charts. at least i know he's doing well.

we have an award show today, and you guessed it, bts is going to be there. it's our last award before our comeback and to say i'm excited is an understatement. i've been working hard that i don't get enough sleep or eat consistently anymore, even my managers have been surprised that i don't eat as much. knowing me for years, i eat the most. but i have to keep my body shape for this comeback. i want to surprise everyone and with that, i've been practicing all day, even at midnight till sunrise. nowadays, i only come home to shower and change.

for this award show, i have huge eyebags under my eyes. nothing that makeup can't fix, of course. other than that, my head has been bugging me but i can still bear to push that aside for blinks who are attending to see us today.

today we're performing as if t's your last and playing with fire. to be honest, i'm already sick of the songs but i'll have to live with it for a couple of weeks.

-

we reached at the show and i can already hear all the screaming fans.                                                         "BTS!!!!" i hear them scream.                                                                                                                                          

i guess they reached the venue the same time as we did. we walked down the red carpet and we hear cameras flashing non stop. i could never get used to this but today was a little different, the flashes were giving me more painful of a headache. it was too much to bear but i had to keep a smile on my face. i told jennie who was beside me, what i felt and she quickly rushed to get us inside the venue.  

a few minutes later, we were inside the stadium and finding our seats. me on the other hand, was clinging to jisoo's arm, not strong enough to rely on my limb to carry my own weight. from the side of my eye, i see bangtan sonyeondan. even though my head was tilted downwards, and weak, i still looked up to them as they are still out sunbaenims. i gave them a quick bow and gave yoongi oppa a little glance. oh how i missed him. 

fans still wasn't allowed to be in the stadium so now is the time where all idols are free to talk to each other without worrying that fans would catch them. taehyung sunbaenim bowed to all of us and gave me a little tap on the shoulder and muttering a small 'are you okay' to me

me, not wanting attention or pity from anyone, gave him a small nod and tried to find our designated seats. surprisingly, we were seated infront on bts, and beside ikon, our labelmates.

jisoo unnie turned her head towards me, who now is clutching to lisa's arm for support. she wanted to make sure i was okay and not passing out. she gave me a water bottle that was infront of us and told me to drink up. i muttered a little 'thank you' .

-

it was now the start of the award ceremony. now, ikon was performing and i couldn't lift my head to see the bright lights so i kept my head down. i was sitting in between jennie and lisa and jisoo unnie was beside jennie on my left. i tried to lift my head so that fans didn't see me as rude as i didn't watch their performance.

as i lifted my head, fireworks went off as the climax of the sang came. i was surprised to say the least and my headache was now much unbearable and i quickly tilted my head down. jennie unnie saw and gave me a soft smile and patted my head to ease the pain.

an hour has past and bts has already performed. when they came back, we had to stand up and bow to them as they were still our seniors. 

as i stood up, i clutched on jennie unnie's arm as i couldn't trust myself that i wouldn't fall. looking up, i saw yoongi oppa's face full of worry. he showed me a sign with his hands as if asking if i was okay. i gave him a quick nod and bowed at him. i quickly smiled at them and sat down as they walked past us. i gave myself a massage on my head that was about to burst in seconds.

the next thing i knew, it was our turn to perform so we walked up to our dressing rooms to change to our outfits.