imagines - odell beckham jr. (editing)

false hope

y/n

odell shut my car door, my hand grabbing the seatbelt and locking it into its' holder before hearing dell get in from beside me. he does the same, squeezing my thigh gently before pulling out of the driveway.

i was 10 weeks pregnant, and odell and i were going to our first ultrasound scan. it was my first time having a baby, so i was nervous and excited. the fact that a tiny human is growing inside of me blows my mind.

"you excited?" odells' wide smile flashes at me before stopping at a red light, his hand resting on my stomach as he rubs it gently. shortly after, i place my hand on top of his.

i nod, at a loss for words. "yeah, i can't wait."

odell and i have been trying numerous times to try and make a baby. unfortunately, i've miscarried two times already and i was about to give up when odell persuaded me to try again for him.

o has been bragging on about wanting a baby for about a month before my mind was made up. seeing how odell dealt with his younger brothers and sisters, it made my heart flutter with love and i couldn't be more than happy to bear his children.

odell has been completely reassuring, promising me that when i wasn't able to see my feet from underneath my pregnant belly and when my body started to strain from the weight, i would receive endless massages, kisses and hot chocolate.

the comforting thought warmed me, and that's how it happened.

—

my sonographer applied the gel to my stomach, shortly after typing my details into her computer. i laid stretched out on the bed, my eyes glancing towards the ceiling. i felt my arm beginning to arise with goosebumps and i turn to odell, a nervous grin spread across my face as he caresses my arm. he smiles back, and i hold out my hand for him to take.

he gladly accepts, his hand enclosing mine before bringing it to his lips. he kisses my hand softly, seeing the doctor bringing the scanner towards my stomach.

"so with this," she starts, my attention drawing to her. "we should be able to hear the babies heartbeat, also allowing us to see what stage the baby is developing at and if that's considered normal, alright?"

"okay." my voice is small, my eyes diverting to the monitor where my baby would appear right in front of me. the scanner moves across my gel covered stomach smoothly, the doctors eyebrows furrowing as she looks ahead at the monitor herself.

"is everything alright?" panic struck my body and i propped myself up onto my elbows to get a better view of what she was frowning at.

odells' hand leaves mine as he too stares at the screen, the same suspicion arising from his hard glare.

"well, as you can see–" the doctor starts, circling the baby on the screen. "i can't listen to the heartbeat because there actually isn't one. no heartbeat indicates that the genetic material in both of your chromosomes weren't correct for the baby to develop. so you've experienced a silent miscarriage y/n."

"a–are you serious? this must be a joke." the words flew out my mouth at 100 miles per hour the doctor mishears it, cocking her head to the side as if asking me to repeat myself.

"you heard what i said. do something, help my baby!" my voice has now turned into a shout, tears spilling down my cheeks and drenching my shirt as odell shakes his head at me.

"baby, there's nothing she can do. the baby has no heartbeat, which means–"

"yeah i know what it means odell, our baby is dead. yeah, i fucking get it!" my empty eyes swing to the doctor, motioning for her to give me some tissues to wipe the gel off my stomach.

i remove the gel in one swipe and chuck the residue in the bin next to me, swinging my legs over and pulling down my shirt. but not long before i broke down, sobs escaping my mouth as my head lands in my hands.

"i'll give you guys a minute." the doctor rushes out of the room without another word, the door closing swiftly behind her as odell manoeuvres his chair closer to me so that he's sat in-between my legs.

"y/n? baby. please, look at me." i feel his hands grab mine to remove them from my face, continuing to hold them as he sets our hands down in my lap.

"stop overthinking, or whatever you're doing. there's always a next time babe, this doesn't mean that we can't ever have kids again." the soft pads of his thumbs wipe the cascading tears that fell off my cheek, before cupping my face.

"this is hard for the both of us. but in order for us to overcome this, we're gonna have to be strong for each other." a small smile lights up his face and i nod as my answer, leaning forward to wrap my arms around his neck and place my chin on his shoulder.

"i love you y/n."

so like i have no idea what goes on behind the scenes of miscarriages and shit like that, so don't come for me please ;)