Why Don't We; Soonhoon

09

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HIS FRIENDS HAD laughed in his face when he told them - begrudgingly, of course, because part of him was still riding off the hope that maybe he could get away with just not letting them know.

But Seungkwan had asked if they were all free sometime that weekend, and Jihoon had said no, and maybe his pride was a little hurt when Jeonghan responded with, "What could you possibly be doing that's going to keep you busy?" because yeah, maybe Jihoon doesn't do much besides work and drink coffee and lay on his bed when he can, but this time he really did have plans.

So, he told them he had a date. And then he immediately regretted it.

Of course, he had to tell them it was with Soonyoung, which only exposed him to more taunting - apparently, Minghao and Jun had gone so far as to bet on whether or not it would happen - but whatever, right? They've always liked to tease him, he's used to it by now, and he's the one who's going on a date with Kwon Soonyoung, so who's the real winner, here? At least, that's what he keeps telling himself.

Since their exchange, they'd been a little more than before. Soonyoung's always been touchy in general, but now he doesn't hesitate to grab Jihoon's hand and play with his fingers, or trail his own down the length of Jihoon's arm. Which, Jihoon kind of hates - he loves it, horrifyingly so, because he's never considered himself someone who likes that sort of thing, but he also hates it. He can't focus on a thing when Soonyoung gets like that, can't focus when his heart is racing laps and his palms are sweating. It's impossible. Soonyoung is impossible.

But even so, they haven't brought it up out loud, haven't kissed a second time, none of that. Jihoon was starting to wonder if he'd just imagined the whole thing, maybe dreamt it.

Until Soonyoung asked, just so casually during one of his visits to Jihoon's desk, if he'd like to get lunch with him sometime over the weekend. Jihoon had managed a short, embarrassed, "Sure," and that was that.

Now they're on their way to some sushi place Soonyoung likes, walking side by side, hands brushing, and Jihoon thinks he's on the verge of combusting entirely, he's so nervous. Which is weird? He doesn't usually feel nervous about these sorts of things? But he hasn't been on a date in God knows how long and Soonyoung - gosh, Soonyoung makes his heart melt in his chest, and that's not something he's used to feeling, either.

Is this even a date? Soonyoung hadn't said it was, but it feels a lot like a date. Jihoon might just be overthinking it.

Soonyoung's chattering his ear off as the near the restaurant, chattering his ear off as he always is, but Jihoon can't figure out a single word he's saying. He can't hear anything over the sound of his own pulse, and the fact alone is only stressing him out more.

But then Soonyoung grabs for his hand, their fingers slotting together rather nicely, and the few beats his heart skips offers Jihoon enough time to hear Soonyoung say, "You alright, Jihoonie? You look a little pale."

"I-I do?" Jihoon stutters, blushing brightly. "I mean, I'm fine, just - yeah. I'm fine."

"You sure?" Jihoon nods, and Soonyoung pauses before continuing, smirking, "I don't know. You seem a little anxious." Jihoon isn't sure what to say to that, so he clamps his mouth shut and listens to the way Soonyoung laughs and says, "It's okay, there's nothing to worry about," his grip tightening.

Soonyoung is like fire, Jihoon thinks, like sparks between their palms and the burning in his eyes, his smile, his words - he gets under Jihoon's skin in the most nerve-wracking way and it prickles, but it also keeps him sort of warm; keeps his heart jumping over flames, but also comforts it, in a way. He's the kindest thing Jihoon's got, and it scares him to no end.