No One's Perfect (A Zodiac Story)

I Swear

Leo

"Hello." I said, fidgeting around on the chair. My therapist stared back at me, a smile plastered on her face. 

"How are you feeling today?" My therapist, Lyra, asked. I just smiled.

"I'm good." Lyra smiles back at me. 

"Have you been thinking more strange thoughts lately, being more impulsive, etc.?"

"No." I answer, but I can't meet her eyes. She just nods, and tells me to wait here while she gets up and grabs some packets for me.

I know I've been a bad roommate, and I've taken stuff that wasn't mine. But before coming here, I begged my mom to tell them that I could control myself, so that I could have a roommate. 

The truth is, I couldn't stand being alone. I hated the suppressing loneliness of it, the negativity. That's why at school I always surrounded myself with a group of "friends", even though I knew they didn't like me at all. But that was okay. People were with me, looking at me, all the time! And it was great! It didn't matter if it was fake, it was still a Wonderland for me.  

And that's why I didn't even noticed that my pockets had been shoved full of the paperweights on her desk. My fists clenched tight around papers that I didn't even know I had taken. 

Lyra clears her throat, and pulls me out of my thoughts. I plaster a grin on my face. She hasn't noticed, has she?

"Leo... what's in your hands?" 

...Frick

I make my eyes widen and mouth open in surprise. She can't find out that I realized I did it. 

"I-I'm so sorry, miss. I-I really didn't mean to." I sputter, throwing her papers back onto the desk. My hands reach into my pockets and I finger the sharp edges of her faux crystal paperweight, and for a minute there, I consider keeping it. She wouldn't notice. Just one more for the collection...

"Leo. All of it." 

I slowly grab the four paperweights, two in each pocket, and put them down wordlessly on the table. I can feel Lyra's gaze peering at me through her thick-rimmed glasses, studying my reactions. 

"I know you didn't mean to, Leo, but I'm going to have to report this to Ophiuchus."

Those words have me up on me feet in less than a second, eyes flashing with alarm. "P-Please, miss. I-I really didn't mean to. It's just this once, please." 

Something in Lyra's eyes flicker for a moment, but that doesn't stop her from giving me an apologetic smile and hurrying out the door, to where I know Ophiuchus is waiting. 

A few minutes later, the two step in. Ophiuchus is looking around the room, and me in particular, in disapproval.

"Leo, what happened? Your mother said..." He trailed off, staring at me with stern disapproval. This was worse than a screaming lecture. Way worse. There was no anger for his disappointment to hide behind, and that just made it that much worse. 

I glance over to my therapist, giving her an almost pleading look. 

Lyra just clenches her jaw. 

Please, I swear I'm a good kid. I swear I didn't mean to take her stuff.

Ophiuchus looks down at me, a frown marring his other-wise handsome face. 

I didn't want this, I swear. It was accident, I swear. 

Ophiuchus shakes his head at me. 

I swear I'll be good. I swear I'll try harder. Please. 

Ophiuchus sighs and mutters something under his breath. But it know it's not good.

And that's all it takes for me to break. 

I swear, I swear that I'm a good kid.

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Literally the Tokyo Drift theme song is the thing that blares at full volume in my head when I have sleep paralysis AND IT'S ANNOYING AS HELL