Maybe We Can

chapter 11

      We finally make it back to the hotel and I'm worn out. Dancing drained me as if it were a juicer and I was an orange. "Well that was fun!" Niall chirped "ehh it was alright" I say and pick through my suitcase to find pajamas. "Come on! It was a blast! People loved our dancing!!" "Yeah yeah whatever..I'm absolutelty sure that's why the beautiful girls were clapping at us.." "Uh...yeah..they were" "No Ni, they were talking about us...in a bad way...well me at least... They thought we were dating and started saying stuff like 'why does he date her?' 'she's so fat' 'somebody throw Shamu back into the ocean' I heard it all. but you know what? I don't care anymore." "Marie-" "Its fine. I'm fine." I made my way to the bathroom. As soon as the door closed behind me I slid to the floor and threw my face into my arm, letting out a sob. I do care. I always have I always will. I make a few more cuts and throw up once again today, change into pajamas, dry my eyes and brush my teeth. "Bed time" I say when I walk out. "Are you sure you're alright?" "Fine." I lay in bed and Niall lays in his own. "Goodnight Ni. Sweet dreams. Love ya." "Goodnight Rie. Sweet dreams. Love ya."

          The girls are talking about me...pointing and giggling..Niall is laughing.. hard...and saying things as well..."No..No....Niall...you can't do this! You are the only one I trust! You can't do this!"  I start shaking...then wake up. "Marie! Marie! god. are you okay? You were shaking and screaming. " "I...I....yeah..it was just a bad dream that's all." "What happened? why were you yelling my name and saying that I'm the only one you trusted? is that true?" "I'll tell you tomorrow.." "Fine. but I'm sleeping in your bed now." "...okay.."

   When I wake again its 8 o'clock AM. Niall's head is on my chest and his arms around me as if he were hugging me. He starts to stir and I smirk at him. "They arnt pillows ya know." "Oh shit sorry!" "Its fine its not like you were doing anything." He sits against the head board. "So...your nightmare?" "I don't remember much...you and those girls were making fun of me..." "I would never Marie. I would never say anything to upset you.  And why did you shout those things...while you were dreaming..?" "Because you are the last person I trust anymore. you make me feel safe." "Oh Marie..." "its really nothing... I'm going to go to the loo." "Alright.." I walk into the restroom and lock the door. This has been a routine for a while. Cry, cut, puke, wash, brush. My hair gets put into a messy bun as I don't want to take the time to brush that as well. When I get to my suitcase I choose a long sleeved flowy cream colored shirt that shows one shoulder and a pair of sweater leggings, mix match socks of course. Niall dresses in shorts and a T-shirt, as usual. I lay across my bed and try to fall back asleep. "What are you doing? we have to eat breakfast." "I'm not feeling well. call me out." I say and lay on my stomach. Niall walks over and lays on his side next to me, rubbing a hand across my back..oh that feels so nice I relish in his touch falling asleep almost instantly, but the second before I fall into my rest I hear his voice.."I'll always protect you." I'm sure he will.

      I wake up about an hour later. Niall went for breakfast and he's left a note. "Its about time he's learned" I say to myself. I get up and start to clean our room. Throwing away trash, wiping down the tables, picking up dirty clothes, I put all the dirty clothes in a bag and put them by the door. I'll take them to the laundry mat in a few minutes. I've got to stop by the store as well and get more bandages. I finish cleaning up and make the beds. "Okay, time to go" I say to myself and write Niall a note telling him I'll be back in about two hours, then head out. Washing and folding the clothes is calming and luckily the hotel has a laundry mat so I didn't have to go far. After the clothes are all finished I put them back in our room then walk to the store. Its a few blocks but at least I'm getting exercise. It takes me a while to find the bandages then pay but I get a good amount of them and also a little keychain for dip shit back at the hotel.

      Niall still isn't back when I get to the room and the note wasn't even moved. I decide to call him. Two rings and an answer. "Hello?" "Niall? " "Yes?" "why aren't  ya back yet?" "because I've stopped to talk to a few people. I'll be back soon." I hear a girls voice in the back ground "clingy girlfriend much? hahaha" what an annoying voice. "Niall. put me on speaker." I sound serious..more then I expected. "why-" "Speaker." "okay its on.." "Listen here you little bitch. I'm not his girlfriend I'm his best friend and if you talk shit about either of us I will find where ever the fuck you are. its a small island it won't be hard. And by the way..do you know what a tissue is because its sounds like your nose is clogged." I hang up furious . I sit on my bed and hug my knees trying to calm down. why did I get so mad at that? Niall calls back and I answer after a little bit of hesitation. "What was that?" "I got mad okay? sorry." "Don't be sorry that was awesome. " he laughs "The bitch was annoying me already." "Really?" I start to calm down with the sound of his laughing. "Yes really. I'm coming back now, I got you some soup. " "I don't want soup" "you'll eat the damn soup Marie." "ugh fine." we hang up.

    When Niall arrives I'm laying on my stomach across his bed still feeling tired. God, what is my problem? He walks over and places his hand on my back. "Hey, get up and eat your soup." His voice is soft. "I don't wanna I just wanna sleep all day and cuddle my pillows." "Well this is my bed so..if you want to cuddle your pillows that involves getting off my bed and to yours." I groan. "Come on." He lifts me from his bed and I immeditaly stand on my own and get on my bed. "Now eat your soup." "Fine!" I eat half my bowl then lay down holding a pillow to me. "If we sleep all day we better have a late night." Niall speaks up. "Fine." He moves over to my bed and lays with me. "Do you not like your own bed?" "I do I just prefer to lay with you because your like a heater." "Well gee thanks for using me as a human heater that's nice." "Oh shut it." I get up and get my giant teddy from across the room. "I'll just cuddle my teddy." I say and he frowns "Cuddle with meeee" "Someones needy." "Mariiiee" "Jesus, okay calm down."  I lay back down leaving the bear on his bed. "I like cuddling with you better anyway" I say and lay on my stomach. He starts rubbing my back again and I lose myself. "That feels so good" I say and Niall laughs "does it now?" "yes." He stops and I roll onto my side and face him. "Hey,Ni..." "Yeah?" "...nothing never mind."