Tessa puts the key into the door of her apartment. Hearing the 'click' of the lock, she opens the door and walks inside.
"Harry?" She calls out.
There was no response. Tessa continues to walk into the apartment, placing the box of frosty flakes on the kitchen bench.
"Tessa." Harry replies coldly. "Where have you been?"
"I was out getting those frosty flakes." She replies. "Remember?"
Harry let's out a deep sigh of utter sadness. "I wanted you to get me some fucking tortellini. Or at least some fine quality ravioli. Honestly, this is the reason our relationship is falling apart."
"Really? That's the reason? Or maybe it's because of the time you threw my banana split down the stairs without even asking me!" Tessa yells angrily.
"You never even bought me that pasta machine I wanted for my birthday." Harry says.
Tessa gasps, her eyes fill with tears.
"I need a break from all of this." Harry whispers.
"Take my car, stay in a hotel, just get out." Tessa replies.
Harry grabs the car keys off the bench and runs out of the apartment, dramatically slamming the door behind him as he leaves. Meanwhile Tessa moves over to the couch where she turns on the television to watch some calming cake boss.
The phone rings, Tessa moves over to it and answers.
"Hello?" She asks into the phone.
"Tessa! It's been forever!" It's Steph.
"Steph? Is that you?"
"Hey babes! Miss you! When are we gonna catch up?!" She slurs.
Tessa is in shock.
"I am so sorry about that whole 'let's rape Tessa on camera' thingy. Like, that was so hilarious but kinda mean."
"Steph, I hope you lose your legs in a bad accident and then get fucked by a gorilla dick." Tessa States simply before hanging up the phone.
Suddenly flustered, Tessa decides to make herself some delicious dinner. Opening the fridge, she realises she only has the frosty flakes and some old Brie cheese in her fridge. She stares over at the wall where she threw the old zucchini. It had left a stain, which Tessa had grown to love, it held so many memories.
"I really do feel like some tortellini."
Tessa could write a book about how much she loved tortellini, but she won't.
"I am sad, sad I am." Tessa says.
Feeling lonely, she decides to leave her apartment and have some fun by sliding down the stair banister over and over again. Suddenly Christian Grey appears at the foot of the staircase.
"Tessa."
"Christian."
It is an extremely tense moment.
"I heard you whining about not having any tortellini and then realised I had some spare breadsticks and wanted to see if you'd like them." He says. "You don't know how many breadsticks I own."
"Enlighten me then." She replies.
This whole situation feels very familiar for some reason but Tessa can't put her finger on why. So together, her and Christian walk off towards his apartment.
A million thought fill Tessa's mind in this moment. How many breadsticks does he have? Where is South Africa? How many legs does a millepede have? What's Obamas last name?
But no amount of thinking could prepare her for what happened next.
AUTHORS NOTE : what am I doing with my life.
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After (the parody)
FanfictionThis is the thrilling sequel to imaginator1D's fanfiction trilogy "After". Set three months after the events of the final book, Harry and Tessa are in a committed relationship. However, many thrilling events and issues such as Zayn's return, Annes d...
