Christian and Tessa walk towards Christian's apartment. Past the spot where Liam almost died, Tessa giggled at the fond memory.
"What are you laughing at?" Christian demanded.
Tessa quickly tries to fabricate a lie to cover up the near-murder of her 2nd best friend. Her 1st best friend was Sulu. Tessa missed Sulu, and the thought of her tiny chocolate body sent a single tear rolling down Tessa's face.
"I won't ask again. What are you laughing about?"
"I just remembered, I'm allergic to broccoli." Tessa lies.
"I have other foods, I might even have some spare tortellini."
"Okay." Tessa whispers. She secretly really wants to go to Christian's apartment because Harry can't cook tortellini for shit.
Finally, the pair make it to Christians apartment. Christian unlocks his door and slowly pushes it open.
"You have to know, you can leave at any time. You might be shocked or even disgusted by what you see. That's okay." He says seriously.
The door opens, to reaveal a dimly lit hallway. Tessa walks in behind Christian and the pair of them walk to the end of the dark corridor to come to a second door.
"You have to know, you can leave at any time. You might be shocked or even disgusted by what you see. That's okay." He says seriously.
"What-"
The door swings open, this time to reveal a room.
Tessa gasps.
The walls are completely covered, ceiling to floor, with breadsticks. Tessa gags at the thought of so many crunchy carbohydrates.
"I know, it's so wrong." Christian whispers into Tesssa's eyes.
Christian picks a rather large beige breadstick off of the wall and inhales it deeply. His eyes roll back in ecstasy and he is in pure heaven.
"Try it. I know it's a weird fetish, but you'll grow to depend on it."
Tessa strokes the breadstick wall, feeling each crumb. Chrisitan groans at the sight. Tessa turns to him to see him crushing some breadsticks into a crumby powder and then lining it up on the glass table like cocaine.
"Are you ready to get fucked up?" He whispers.
He snorts all of the breadstick powder in one go. He roars a mighty roar and he gets an bread-rection.
"I really want to try it, but I'm scared that I'll overdose. You know they say, a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the arms." Tessa says.
"Thats not even related-"
"No, this isn't right. I shouldn't be here. Harry would be worried."
"Harry? Who the fuck is Harry?"
"Plus I'm gonna miss my omlette date with Zayn." Tessa sighs.
"Zayn? As in... Zayn the breadstick submissive?" Christian asks.
Tessa begins to describe Zayn to clear the cafuffle with Christian. "Tall, olive, butterfly eyelashas, hair quiff with an angle of -"
"87 degrees." Christian finishes.
Tessa's pupils shrink as she makes the shocking realisation.
"What do you mean? Breadstick submissive? I thought he was a true omlette club member?" Tessa cries.
"Well he sure likes a breadstick up the bumhole." Christian says.
Tessa runs out of the apartment, tripping over several breadsticks as she leaves.
When she finally makes it back up to the apartment, Harry is there. With Zayn.
YOU ARE READING
After (the parody)
FanfictionThis is the thrilling sequel to imaginator1D's fanfiction trilogy "After". Set three months after the events of the final book, Harry and Tessa are in a committed relationship. However, many thrilling events and issues such as Zayn's return, Annes d...
