When the PLOT Involves Swearing Monkeys, Octopi and Filch
"...Hmm, hm hm... because I know you said you loved me, um hum, hm hm, hmmmm... before the owl came, yes I know, baby... dum dum doooo... hm hm, hummmm, and the kneazle's gone away..."
Severus did not open his eyes. He didn't want to wake up, and he certainly didn't want to move; he felt so warm and comfortable and sleepy that he thought he would be quite content to remain wherever he was for another year or two, at least.
"...like the full moon on your shoulder... um hum, hm hm, hmmmm... I won't ask if you love me... dum doooo..."
An absolutely delicious smell was tickling his nose, and somewhere in the distance someone was singing along with the wireless.
"...hm hm, hmmmm... before the owl came—come on, Nymphadora, you know this part—because now I know that you've left me alone, and the kneazle's gone away..."
Severus yawned and stretched out his arms and legs; his feet collided with something that protested: "Severus! This is my side of the couch!"
"Severus?" He reluctantly opened his eyes to see Andromeda peering at him, a tinge of amusement in her mind. "Now I understand your Animagus form," she said. "You look just like a cat when you yawn. How are you feeling, dear?"
He yawned again. "Fine. Tired. Can I stay here forever?"
Andromeda smiled. "What about dinner, instead? We doubted you'd want to eat in the Great Hall with mummified hands. Let me take another look at them, dear."
Severus blinked; for some reason his last detention with Umbridge had completely slipped his mind. He pulled his arms out from beneath the innumerable quilts piled on him and held out his hands. Andromeda began fiddling with the bandages and prodding them with her wand; Severus took the moment to look around.
He was in the main room of the Tonks' quarters, nestled on the couch along with a giant, fluffy pillow, half a dozen blankets and Nymphadora. Nymphadora's side of the couch also hosted her stuffed cat, a pile of coloring books and a toy snitch, which was darting in and out of her reach, much to her frustration. Andromeda vanished the bandages and Severus looked back at his hands; they were red and slightly swollen, but to his relief there were no longer any words carved into them.
"Yes," Andromeda agreed, conjuring up another roll of bandages, "they're healing nicely, though your skin will be very tender for the next few days. It's just a good thing we caught this now, rather than two weeks in the future. The nerve of that woman!" she snapped. "It's another good thing that she won't be giving you any more detentions, or I'd—"
"She won't?" Severus interrupted, incredulous—it was too good to be true. "But she already—"
"You don't honestly believe that we'd let you go back to that ogress, do you?" Andromeda asked as she rewrapped his hands. "Oh no, you're doing the rest of your so-called detentions with Ted, who I trust not to intentionally maim you—"
"You never know, love, I might secretly be a vampire," Ted joked, appearing from behind the door. He kissed Andromeda and plopped down right in the middle of the couch, enveloping Nymphadora in a one-armed hug. "What's for dinner?"
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Severus Snape And The Marauders
FanfictionThis a Severus Snape-centric AU beginning the summer before his fifth year at Hogwarts. The main focus is on Severus' evolving relationship with the Marauders, once they come to the conclusion that the only way to get through this summer intact is t...