lost loves a go

Help me

As I ran I felt my leg go numb , and I realized I had just been shot . I couldn't die , I wasn't at peace . I didn't know where my mother was , if she was dead or alive . I hadn't even had sex yet ! Man . How could I die with out sex ? . I promise after this I'm dead making love to Roger !

" Rose!! " I heard as I slipped into a gaze , I was cold I was really cold . Had he shot me in more than one place ? .

" I'm cold Roger, I'm cold . " I muttered. I heard Roger and Jacob fighting . I heard gun shots . And then I saw someone fall . My vision was blurry , I began to here whispers . And I was being consumed by fear all over again like that nightmare I had . I don't think I was afraid too die , I just wasn't ready too.

Beep , beep , beep *

" SHES ALIVE ! We got a pulse !! " the doctors yelled .

I tried moving but no movement came , I just looked up at said " where ..... is Roger " It hurt for me to speak I felt a sharp pain at my throat .

" she's speaking ! Thank God ! " a familiar voice said ! It was my mom !! How !! Or I must've been really out of it !

" MOM ! " I yelled at then fell back too the bed In pain .

"Mom ?" Everyone in the room looked puzzled . " it's the medicine it's getting too her."

They all spoke and then left the room , I woke up to Roger sitting at the edge of my bed . Could God have been punishing me for all the disrespect ? Or was this a test of faith ?

" Ro-" I said and he interrupted me

" How dare you Rose ! Of course I care about you ! Why would you go off with some crazy man ! Sex isn't that good ! That's why I tried to stay away from you ! I knew you'd end up hurting yourself which would end up hurting me ! How could you be so selfish !" He said as hot tears ran down his face .

I sat feeling more guilty than ever , my face flushed with tears . And my throat was even more pained . I wanted to hug him so bad ! But I couldn't move ! Looks like Jacob did shoot me more than once ! But that's when I examined Rogers face , he had claw marks on his cheeks , & a bruised arm. Had he really fought that hard for me ? I cried even more .

It took every ounce of strength I had left in my body for me too sit up and hug him , it hurt so bad . I was in more pain than before I wiped away his tears and kissed him on the lips for the first time ever ! I kissed him !!

" Roger .. I am sorry. I thought you didn't like me . You pushed me away , I was hurt . More hurt than afraid . I just needed to feel loved . I was craving for the feeling ! No one was ever there for me ! I want someone to love me like my father should have , but he didn't ! So I guess it is my fault I am selfish ! Cuz everything I have gets taken away ! Where is my mom ! " I said sobbing and tears ran down his face and he just hugged me for a moment it was silent . Until he spoke .

" Rose , you're beautiful . From the moment , I met you . You made my life better . I promise I will do everything I can to help find your mother . I pushed you away because I was afraid you'd leave me or get tired of me eventually , because everyone gets tired of me ." He said sighing . He paused ,

Then continued . " Rose i , we I , mean me , I mean we can learn what love is together .. Is it the feeling

I got when I first looked into your eyes , or the day you collapsed on me in the hospital , and I watched you sleep ? Or I left because it was too much pain for me too bare . too see the one girl id ever actually met that was unique ? . I have a pretty good idea what love is , and it all comes from when I look at you . " he said then put me too lay down , he laid next too me & for the first time in a very long