lost loves a go

Fatal distraction

Roger . Was perfect , he was everything I cold ever ask for in a guy . He took my worries away all of them , he helped me to stop thinking of my mom . It was amazing for him too be on top of me , I realized after a daily lurk on his Instagram he's Instagram famous and lots of girls wants him so I guess I'm lucky huh ! . But I felt kind of awkward . This is actually my first time & he seemed like he knew what he was doing . It felt so good. So right , for once in my life I felt wanted . I felt loved .

I glanced up at Roger to see how , attractive he was . How dominant he was over me . It made me quiver , I was wet . And I was embarrassed ! I thought i peed my self ! He looked up at me from sucking on my neck , and it felt so good he was licking my neck and grinding on me . Too the beat of " Slow motion juvenile " all I did was whimper , he bit my earlobe and started kissing me all over my

Body . Then he lifted my shirt and , I wrapped my legs around him .

" Roger it feels soo good " I giggled and moaned at the same time . He replied with a smirk. As he was removing my bra , he stopped and he looked at me .

" Rose ? " he said uneasy

" Yea love ? " I said quickly back .

" are you sure you want too do this ? " he said

" Yes of course I want too" I answered back

" Rose , I don't want you to regret anything . I don't wanna end up leaving you or cheating on you or hurting you . Look you seem like a really sweet girl . I would hate too break your heart ." He screamed over the music . And he looked me in the eyes

All of a sudden all the painful memories came back , my mom was still missing , Jacob tried too kill me ,

Now .. All over again someone turned me down . I mean what was wrong with me I had a beautiful face and a pretty shape ! I was 5'2 , with hazel brown eyes , a pretty white smile , a long black curly yet straight hair , also a nice medium fat booty and small boobs . I mean who wouldn't go crazy over all of that ? . I mean boys have tried too talk too me

, but I didn't want anyone else . I only wanted Roger . But he didn't want me . What did I do that was so wrong . Why was I always pushed away . Why didn't anyone want me ! Why is everyone leaving me like my dad ! I pondered and I held back tears and I cleared my throat to speak . But I couldn't all that came out was nothing . It was pure silence and awkward silence . I stared into his eyes until he broke silence .

" Rose !!!Rose !! BREATHE . Rose are you okay !! . Roseline .? " he said hollering over the music . I was so lost In thought I hadn't realized I stopped breathing . I was having a panic attack . I couldn't breathe . He jumped off of me and turned of the

Music he dialed 911 yelled the address dropped the phone then came back too me. I started to breathe but I could barely , I was inhaling and exhaling I felt so trapped with in my self , with in my own worries . I felt alone , more now than ever .

" Rose ! Please stay with ! Keep breathing ! " he said crying and holding my hand . Wow , I didn't know Roger had a twin . I started to fade , there was a sharp pain in my side and in my throat . It hurt so bad I struggled to breathe . I couldn't hold on much longer . I thought to myself , I wasn't ready too die . But I wanted too . I couldn't find the only one person I had my mom , Jacob almost killed me , my dad left me and Damaged my entire life , and Roger was now turning Me down . I wanted to stop breathing so badly , but something in me wouldn't let me die . It made me keep fighting . It made me hold on . It made me thrive too live . I looked too the side ignoring all of Rogers screams . I saw a bright light . A severely bright light , it hurt too look at . An angel . With wings , could I be seeing things ? Or was if actually an angel .

" Rose , everything's going to be okay . Hold on tight . You've got too learn to pray more . To have more faith . I love you , God loves you . We will never give up on you . Even though you might have given up on us , we will always love you . My child . "

An angelic whisper said too me . I felt comforted and scared . But the appearance faded and I began to pray and cry and I realized . Roger hadn't stopped crying ever since I stopped breathing . If he cared so much about me then why turn me down ?

"Police here ! We're coming up !" A sego voice said . Before I knew it I was in the back of an ambulance truck . With tubes being connected too me and Roger sitting beside me . I could breathe easier now , but I was still worried . I was weak yet I was strong . I survived , on my way too the hospital I prayed . And I noticed Roger had been praying too and trying to talk too me the whole ride , trying

Too get me too talk . But I couldn't it hurt too much .

" Rose ! Look I'll buy you every flower in the world , I'll hold you , I'll sing you that song you like . I'll even make love too you Rose ! I just wanted our first time

To be special . Rose I know I act like an asshole , but Rose please don't leave me . You complete me and I I need you. . Rose I love you ." He cried out .

I tried so hard too speak , but nothing came out other than tears . So I lifted my heavy arms

& I made a heart sign .