Best Friends Turn To Love (H2OVanoss)

The Closeted

Jonathan's POV

I absolutely positively love my best friend in the whole world. Evan Fong.

Which is why I need to distance myself from him.

Luke totally thinks differently. He says I should go for it. "What do you have you lose?"

I, Jonathan Waters, am a proud closeted asexual. Meaning I tend to fall in love with my "no-homo" best bros. It always fails though. 

And everytime I confess, I ruin everything.

Every foundation, every moment, wasted with spoiled memories of others. No matter who it is. Guys. Girls. Non-Binary. Doesn't matter. They instantly see me as a disgusting person, even if they have nothing wrong with the community. 

Because they thought I was in love with them the whole time. 

That's pretty selfish if you ask me. To just assume that this whole time I loved you, after everything we did, is really selfish. No, I can't change how I feel, but why should I?                               I'm getting ahead of myself.

Putting distance between us bros is my number one priority so I don't fall deeper into the owl's hole. So I can move on. The only thing is Luke (my so-called brother figure) completely ignores what I'm saying when he gives me advice. 

"Dude, you got his number. Now hit him up!" Luke says, obviously missing the point. 

"Luke, that's not how it works." I tell him. We're in my studio, Luke sitting on a table and I'm sitting in my chair. It's been a few hours since I got Evan's number, and I'm freakin' out.

"It's exactly how it works!" Luke exclaimed. "You LOVE Evan right? Tell him. I did it with your sister and we had a good run."

He really doesn't understand how it works.

"That's true for you, not me," I refuted. "Besides, I could ruin everything in one full-fell swoop. I DON'T WANT THAT!" I shrank back into my chair further. "I'm fine with just being friends." After all, I need some distance so it'll work. Hopefully. 

"Bullshit."

Those words stung as Luke said them. "Honest to god," I said. "I am completely fine with being friends."

"I still say bullshit." Luke says, his expression darkening. "You and I both know what we're smelling. You haven't been in love in forever, you haven't been putting yourself out there in forever, and when you finally have something you blow it off." Luke gets dangerously close to my face with this serious talk. "I'm your savior and your cupid. Don't blow this chance. You and Evan  have great chemistry Jonathan, surely you see that. Always forgiving, always forgetting."

I bit back on my tongue. Part of me wanted to believe it, but another part of me doesn't. "Don't give me false hope," I finally say. 

"It's not false hope," Luke says, returning to the table. "It's my observation. Others too, think the same thing. You have a whole shipping website on FandomWiki." 

"I'm still not believing it." I call after Luke as he shuts the door to my studio. Like hell I'll believe that.

Evan doesn't see me in that way.

Some distance would be good for us. 

I put on my calendar for the 23rd to be the day we play GTA together. I'm trying to limit playing with Evan to a few times a month. Good thing Red Dead Redemption 2 is coming out soon, something to distract my mind. At least for the most part. 

Because Luke was right. I haven't done anything adventurous in a while. Good thing the birthday party is happening next month. I'll be there with my mask, hoodie, and little teddy bear key-chain.

I exit the studio and see Luke on his way to the front door, car keys in hand. I wave him goodbye and wish him a safe drive home as he wishes me a goodnight. I checked the clock and saw that it was 11 pm. Wow, seemed much earlier.

I flopped myself onto the big giant teddy bear in my living room and just sank in. Feeling tired and drowsy. My eyelids slowly dropped as I lulled myself to sleep with hope. Hope that it will all work out in the end.