Innocence: Lost

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Tell him.

Sweat beaded on Ashton's forehead. The car's engine whirred as the only sound amongst the silence.

Tell him now!

Ashton's fingertips hit the steering wheel. It created a rain-like sound. The pitter-patter served as the only distraction to the nuisance of his mind. Luke was beside him. His doe eyes were still curious, full of wonder and interest. Ashton wanted, more than anything, to tell him the truth.

"Luke, I think it's obvious. There's something that you and I need to discuss," Ashton said. His hair flopped over his eyes.  He could see through the strands. That prevented him from crashing the car.

"I understand," Luke spoke gently.

Of course, he understood. Maybe he'd even understand what Ashton had to tell him.

Long, winding hills made the silence inescapable. The ocean would have been loud enough if they rolled the windows down. They didn't, however. After a car ride full of no music and heavy breathing, Ashton turned down the all too familiar street.

They arrived at Luke's house. No one ever stayed home.

He looked over at Luke. He tugged his cherry lip between his teeth. His butterfly lashes dusted his cheekbones. He played with his fingers. Ashton flicked the gear into park. The older boy exhaled. He stared at his palms before looking at Luke.

"I have lied to you, darling," Ashton said in an uncharacteristically gentle tone.

Luke's perfectly arched brows furrowed into an odd shape. A shape of confusion. It was in that moment, that Ashton saw a change within the angelic boy. The ballerina who had traded his life for a criminal. Something died inside of him.

"H-How?" Luke clearly tried to hold back nervous tears.

"Well, do you remember the car wreck?" Ashton had never been more disappointed with himself. He coughed awkwardly, shifting out of his leather jacket to stop from sweating.

"Y-Yeah..." Luke grew more confused. His voice began to sound wrecked.

"I didn't get the money on my own. I've...I've been the one stealing from your father's bank account," Ashton gulped. 

Luke paled. He let out a simple, "oh," and opened the door to Ashton's car.

"Luke, please...don't go. Don't leave. I know this is really bad. I'm...fuck...I'm so sorry," Ashton tried. Luke shook his head.

"I need time, Ashton. This is something extremely difficult to process. I got yelled at because of you. My parents think I lied to them. They think Jack lied to them!" Luke slammed the car door shut. Ashton turned off the ignition and tried to follow after.

"Baby, whatever you do...don't go. Please don't go," Ashton looked emotionless on the outside, but on the inside, walls were crashing down. The temple of Luke inside of his mind started to crash and burn.

Luke fumbled with the oversized ring on his dainty finger. He stared up at Ashton.

"It's amazing, you know? I thought that what you and I had was real.  I thought they were all so wrong. I gave everything to you, and they were right! You used me. Ballet was my life, and I turned down the most prestigious school in New York to stay here with someone who didn't even love me back. I'm not your baby anymore, Ashton. I want you out of my life!" Luke shook his head and started to walk away.

"I love you," Ashton agonized. The gravel from Luke's driveway crunched under his boots. He moved closer. Luke, however, halted with his back to Ashton. The wind blew his curls. His cheeks looked like knives as he peered over his shoulder.

"Give. Me. Time," Luke stomped off. Ashton watched the innocent, guiltless boy he once knew fade into the white mansion. The red roses inside of the small garden swayed with Luke's loud, angry strides towards the door.

Ashton thought Luke grew up in that moment. Even though it hurt him, he was proud of his true love.

+

Michael showed up to Calum's house with a desire for Ashton's head. He ignored Calum's flirting and shoved him to the side. He found Ashton smoking a cigarette on the back porch.

"I did what you want, and you got your wish, Clifford. He fucking hates me now. He's all yours," Ashton testified. He flicked the silver ashes off the cherry of the cigarette. The flakes clouded his leather boots.

"I don't want him. I want him to get back what was stolen from him. I want you to make this right, shithead!" Michael rubbed his face. He looked over the pool in Calum's backyard. He shivered at pressing memories.

Ashton turned to glare at Michael.

"And how the fuck do you presume I get the money to pay him back?" Ashton questioned.

"You're going to do Jack Hemmings a favor. It's the only way unless Calum's family wants to pay you the money. Do him a favor so that he'll pay you the money," Michael said with a budding smirk. Ashton's eyes turned into daggers.

"Oh, hell no. Not after what that asshole did!" Ashton crossed his arms like a child. The leather in his jacket creased with his movement.

"I thought you would do anything to keep Luke..." Michael cocked his head to the side. Ashton sighed and rubbed his face.

"I don't know if giving him the money back will even fix it. He trusted me, Michael and Jack will make me do something awful. You don't know," Ashton shook his head. He really thought about all of the things Jack could possibly force him to.

Michael leaned against the back door.

"If I were you I would."

+

Ashton tossed and turned in his uncomfortable bed. The mattress squeaked. He missed Luke's bed. He had tried to fall asleep. Each time he got close, he thought about Jack making him kill Luke.

If he agreed to be Jack's assistant again, there was no limit to what he would ask him to do.

Ashton felt a disgusting feeling when he imagined Luke's soft hands carding him to sleep. Luke would sing him to sleep if he were here. Luke would kiss his nose. Luke would make some stupid joke.

"Ashy, I forgive you. Just prove you love me," Luke's voice was only in Ashton's mind. He must have been insane.

"I don't know what to do," Ashton said to the Luke in his mind.

"Do what's best for our love," Ashton could only do the right thing when Luke was the one telling him to.

After a long night of sad, empty nothingness. Ashton gripped his pillow and sighed. He grabbed his phone and scrolled to the contact labeled, "Asshole."