How everything started (taylor momsen girlxgirl)

Chapter 18

Taylor's point if view

I woke up startled by a scream, I instantly sprung to a sitting position as Holly thrashed about in the covers, she was in clear distress as tears rolled down her face and she screamed repeatedly, this is what had happened the night before, it had scared me, but now I just tried to remain calm so I could help Holly as best I could, she continued to thrash about in the covers as I grabbed her wrists securely and straddled her waist, I held her hands about her head tightly with one hand as I stroked her cheek gently and asked her to wake up, she was now crying but no longer thrashing about, still succumb by sleep, I was so close to crying seeing her like this, it broke my heart, but she refused to talk about her nightmares, I wanted so badly to know, but in the same respect it'd be too sad and scary, I kissed her forehead lightly and then her lips softly, this calmed her more and her eyes fluttered open, she looked me in the eyes, her own so broken, so shallow, it pained me to look at them, they were so dark and sad, as I continued to look she whispered "why are you on top of me?" Her voice was hoarse and raspy, I didn't know if it was from the screaming or the fact that she had not drank anything since she had fallen asleep "you were having a nightmare, thrashing about and screaming, I didn't want you to hurt yourself so I restricted you" I replied with a whisper, I looked at her again as she sighed deeply, I could tell she was battling with herself, but what about was unknown to me, I laid myself down on top of her nuzzling my head into her chest, her arms almost instantly wrapping around my torso delicately but tightly, I felt safe, protected and loved all at once, the feelings that she brought upon me both scary yet exciting, I traced different patterns on her arm as my other arm rested by her neck, she used one hand to play with my hair as the other stayed firmly on the small of my back tracing patterns too "please talk to me" I asked concerned for her, worrying about what battles she was facing alone, I wanted to be let into her mind, allowing me to know her worst like I knew her best. "It's so horrible, the nightmares, I can't bare them. I need something to stop them, but I just don't know what to do." She replied, the disappointment and despair oozing from her mouth as she sighed heavily, I knew she wanted to cry, it broke my heart, shattered it into pieces "please tell me what happened?" I pleaded, this was something I wanted to know, I silently prayed she would explain "it hurts so much, the same thing happens every time, I couldn't protect you and he shot you, watching your body collapse lifelessly in front of me, to then see him shoot Jordan, her body becoming limp and lifeless. I battle for the gun to then be shot in too, I feel him kick my wound repeatedly, it's so dark and cold, I wake up in my dream to find myself in a dark room tied up to a chair, evil laughing all around me, you're screaming help and I can't move, I can't see you, you're just screaming and screaming" she tells me, her voice distressed and cracking with each word, the dream so dark and sinister, it's scary too think such things are going on inside of her head, her next words hit me and I felt the tears now fall freely from my eyes "you were scared of losing me, but I was scared of losing you and Jordan, id take a bullet in the chest if it meant you two were safe" the words so sincere and full of so much meaning, they were so genuine, I hugged her as tight as I could whilst she returned the embrace, we laid there silently for what seemed like forever, until finally I felt sleep try to over take me "I love you" I sighed out meaningfully, I truly loved this girl, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and couldn't see myself with anyone else, I trusted her with everything, she made me feel safe.

Holly's point of view

"I love you more" I replied, I never thought it was humanly possible to love someone so much that to breathe without them there it would cause you pain, to see them hurt or in pain would break you inside, it would cause a pain in your chest that tightened almost unbearable. Each day they were your every thought, finding yourself smile at all the little memories you had because they made you happy, even on your darkest days they could shine through and make them brighter, Taylor was like my drug, she was my happiness, everything about her was perfect, all her imperfections making her more beautiful, like a goddess, I couldn't fault her, I wouldn't wish for better because I wouldn't find it, I didn't want anything more than her, she is my everything. "Try to sleep some more" she yawned out, I knew she was tired and done the one thing I know would relax her and cause her to fall into a peaceful slumber, I rubbed small circles on her shoulder blade as I felt her relax and mould into my body even more, her head nuzzled into my chest and within minutes I could feel her breathing even out, light snores escaping her mouth as her lips were sealed in a small smile, I watched her sleep for a while, the peaceful look on her face both intriguing and seemingly calm. I soon felt myself falling into darkness, I tried to fight it but knew I needed to try and sleep more or id become over tired and grouchy, I sighed and kissed the top of Taylor's head as I let the darkness consume me falling into a restless slumber surely to be filled with more painful nightmares and possible events.

*THE NEXT MORNING*

Taylor's point of view

I woke up feeling arms wrapped around my torso, remembering the events that occurred last night, my eyes not quite opened yet, I slowly opened them to adjust them to the light bursting through the window, blindingly bright, I lifted my head slowly to look at Holly, she was still sleeping, a pained expression slowly taking over her features, she seemed peaceful not moving but I could tell she was having trouble in a dream and decided that id awake her to stop any prolonged pain "Holly, wake up, it's just a dream everything's okay" I shook her left shoulder lightly, noting it was her right that had been shot, I sat up on top of her and kissed her lips softly, leaving my lips to linger as I watched her, her eyelids fluttering open as a tear slid down her face, I wiped it away with the pad of my thumb and kissed her again, this time she deepened it, but it wasn't a hungry kiss, it wasn't rough, it was passionate and dependant, at that moment I felt like she needed me badly, like she'd stop breathing and her heart would stop beating if I left, I pulled away breathing heavily, as I cuddled her tightly "it was just a dream, I promise nothing bad is going to happen" I spoke calmly too her and in a reassuring voice "it's just so scary" she replied, her voice was still hoarse and raspy, I believe she may have ripped her vocal chords when she was screaming. "Let's get you some water" I said as I made a move to get up but felt her pull me back down "I don't want to move yet, this is nice" she said as she kissed the top of my head, I couldn't argue and resisted the urge to get her a glass of cold water "does your throat hurt?" I asked as I nuzzled my head into her chest "yeah a little" she replied clearing her throat in an attempt to stop the rasp "you know, that rasp in your voice is pretty sexy" I breathed out as my breathing hitched when she let out a throaty chuckle which was also rasped from her sore throat "is that a good thing?" She replied "if you want it to be" I teased "hmm, maybe I should just not talk today" she mused her laugh like music to my ears and it made my heart beat faster and the butterflies explode in my stomach "I don't think that's a good idea, I think you should talk some more" I said as I sat up straddling her and leaning down to her ear "I love the rasp in your voice" I whispered as my lips brushed against it with every word she moaned quietly as I kissed her neck softly "you know the doctor wouldn't be pleased if I strained my shoulder, I don't think any sexual activity would help" she said trying to convince herself, but I knew her self control in such a position was not too good, I lifted my head to look at her with a questioning raise if my eyebrows, then I crashed our lips together, both our tongues fighting for dominance as they battled with each other, her winning and exploring my mouth like it was territory she had never been too, I pulled away biting her bottom lip lightly earning a moan "we better get ready, we need to go to the apartment today" I breathed out as I tried to steady my breathing and pecked her lips multiple times "get up then, let's go, I need my antibiotics, my shoulder is killing me" she said her face wincing as she moved, I got up and immediately went to the kitchen to get her some water, I returned minute later to find her sat up getting the antibiotics she needed "here you go" I said handing her the glass "thank you, can you grab me some clothes for today?" She asked as she started to take her medication "sure" I replied as I made my way to the wardrobe to pull out a plain light grey crop top and some white skinny jeans, getting myself some black skinny jeans and a white T-shirt, I got myself changed and made my way to the bedroom, Holly was getting up to get dressed and I helped her with her shirt as she winced in pain at trying to get it off, I threw it on the floor once it was off and replaced it with the grey crop top, she then pulled on her white jeans and made her way to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth, I did the same and we decided to grab food on the way to the apartment.

No ones point of view

Holly grabbed the keys as her and Taylor made their way out the door, Taylor locking it behind them and walked to the car, Holly proceeded to open the passenger door for Taylor and closing it behind her, she the continued to the drivers side and put her seatbelt on starting the ignition and pulling out of the driveway and onto the road. The drive to the apartment was quiet, both Taylor and Holly left alone to their thoughts, Taylor replaying the words Holly had said to her last night and Holly replaying the scenes of last nights nightmare in her head, she shuddered at the thought of ever losing her best friend or the love of her life. They pulled up outside of a small diner and walked in together hand in hand to get something to eat, both their stomachs groaning and grumbling, they ordered tacos to go and left once receiving their order paying and thanking the old lady behind the counter. Back in the car and on the way to the apartment they ate their food. Holly had a good feeling as she pulled up to the apartment block parking the car and jumping out walking round to the passengers side to open the door for Taylor, as she stepped out Holly closed the door behind her and grabbed her right hand intertwining their hands together as they made their way inside ready to view the apartment for Jordan and hoping it would be perfect.