I woke to Liz poking me in the face. The others where still gone it was just her and Chris on the bus. It felt a bit strange for them both to be hovering over me. For those who don't know, Chris is my Ex. We dated back when I still lived in Pennsylvania. Slowly opening my eyes I sat up. "What happened.... where is everyone.." Liz handed me a cup of tea with lemon. "You attacked a guy in line who was messing around with a girl. You didn't kill him. Just knocked him out." Her voice was gentle and soothing. She was the only one who didn't want to hurt me when things like this happened. Chris just looked at me. His chocolate eyes full of worry. Most see Chris as this huge 6'4 monster. He's not. He'd do anything for his band mates.
"Take it. "Chris handed me a light blue pill, it was a herbal remedy Liz had made me a few weeks ago. Like Xanax without the side effects and addiction. I swatted at it sending it to the floor. I never admit it but I can be clumsy and a bit childish. Liz frowned. Picking it up she placed it in my hand. "Please." She pressed her lips to my head. I hated medication. I hated being treated like I was sick. They always kept close watch of me. Some days I felt like I was in a mental hospital but I know they meant well. Swallowing it down I grumbled laying back against my pillow. My head was spinning. "Did I miss the show?" I looked at them both worried. Chris shook his head. Liz crawled into my bunk curling into me gently playing with my hair. "Nuh. We moved it until tomorrow. We lied and said you had the stomach bug." She hummed braiding a few strands of my hair. "I'm so sorry." My eyes burned. I wanted to cry. I destroyed another show. I was almost sure Chris was going to kick me out of the band.
"Shh. It's going to be okay." She got up tugging me with her. "Let's go take a shower." I nodded grabbing our towels from the hooks next to our bunks and followed her to the bathroom. At any other time, this would be far more then a shower. I'd have her pinned to the wall with my head between her legs. But right now, I was numb. I was scared to touch anyone in fear I'd hurt them. Having a demon possessing you is almost like a identity disorder, your watching yourself like a movie and there is nothing you can do. Our guitarist has it. I talk to him a lot. Liz gets it, but wynter lives it. He knows exactly what it's like to live with voices in your head. I laughed shaking my head. I can be so blind sometimes. Voices. We wrote a fucking song about me. I did the whole music video and I was just now putting it all together.
"What?"Liz looked at me confused while she started the shower. I couldn't hold it in. Pulling my shirt off I threw it on the floor. Here comes another out burst. I could hear it in my head as if I was on the stage. Using two sticks of eyeliner as drum sticks I banged them against the sink. "Voices, In my head again
Trapped in a war inside my own skin
They're pulling me under (Go)
I've swallowed myself but the fever remains
I'm numb to the pleasure but still feel the pain
If I showed you my soul would you cover your eyes?
If I told you the truth would you tell me to lie?
I keep it all inside because I know the man is everything but kind
Voices, In my head again
Baiting me in a war I can't win
I can hear them now
Trapped in a game inside my own skin
I don't know myself anymore
They're pulling me under
Voices, Voices
As I walk through this valley of shadows and death
I curse not the wicked, I praise not the blessed
If I told you the truth, you'd beg me to change
If fear were a currency, you'd own the bank
Voices, In my head again
Baiting me in a war I can't win
I can hear them now
Trapped in a game inside my own skin
I don't know myself anymore
They're pulling me under
I don't want to live
So callous and frozen
Ugly and hopeless
I don't want to live forever
I just want to live right now
You can't take it from me
Voices in my head again
Head again
Voices in my head again
Baiting me in a war I can't win
I can hear them now
Trapped in a game inside my own skin
And I don't know myself anymore
They're pulling me under
Voices
(They're pulling me under)
Voices
They're pulling me under
Voices, voices
I keep it all inside because I know the man is everything but kind
I keep it all inside because I know the man is everything but kind" I laughed looking at myself in the mirror my ocean eyes staring back at me. Turning around I smirked. Pulling Liz to me I held her tightly. Pressing my lips to hers I finished pulling her clothes off along with mine. Picking her up I walked into the shower holding her against the wall. I don't know where the sudden burst of energy came from but I'd take it. Kissing down her neck to her chest I left my mark. Hearing her breaths and moans was like music to me. Trailing my tongue down her stomach I smirked as she tangled her fingers into my hair.
My head buried between her thighs I ever so slightly nibbled on her outer labia getting a gasp in return with a slight pull of my hair. Sliding my tongue in my thumb on her clit applying just the slightest pressure as I rubbed. Weird tip, for you men and women. Rub to the beat of a song that has around 95bpm. Gentle it's not a fucking scratch board. Darting my tongue in and out I kept her pinned to the wall. Her moans getting louder. I could hear Chris banging on the wall. With a soft growl I got up and slammed myself into her. She clawed my back as she moaned. Pounding into her I slowly rolled my hips. Kissing her roughly. By the time we where finished the water had gone cold.
I could hear wynter pounding at the door telling us he had to piss. Laughing i dried off throwing on sweatpants before helping Liz into pjs and carrying her out of the bathroom. She clung to me mumbling that she wanted brownies.
