It was another hot day of warped. The kind of heat that punches you in the dick the second you walk outside. Yet here we where dressed in all black like we where about to attend a funeral. Groaning I pulled on my skinny jeans and a HIM shirt. Dragging my brush through my hair I was greeted by my Girlfriend Liz already dressed and ready to go. I swear she never sweated while I looked like a melted goth popsicle. "How the hell are you not melting?" I kissed her softly. "Uhm...I dunno... magic." She helped me brush out my hair pulling it into a ponytail. Chris came back into the bus carrying cases of water and stacking them in the fridge. "The show is inside. It's to hot according to the coordinators. Meet and greet is inside. We got a hour." I nodded trying to cool down. Walking into the kitchen area I shoved my head into the freezer.
Chris laughed turning the Ac up. "Are you going to be okay? You got the acoustic session before we go on." I mumbled into the freezer. "Yea. I'll take another shower. " I got my head out of the freezer. Liz was sitting on the couch braiding our newest guitar players hair. He was only 4'9 and probably 80ibs soaking wet. Looked like he was 10 but he kicked ass on stage. I smiled kissing the top of her head before going off to shower. Shutting the door I turned on the water as cold as I could before getting in. I must have completely zoned out because before I knew it I was singing Wait out the days and the bus had gone silent. I heard the bathroom door open it was Liz sitting on the sink she listened. My voice grew softer so only she could hear. It wasn't that I had a shit voice, I used to be the front man of my own band back in high school but it felt weird.
Shutting off the water I dried off and got dressed. Brushing out my hair I brushed my teeth and did up my makeup. Scooping up Liz I left the bathroom. She did this adorable little flapping squeak move before I set her down again. "Breakfast?" She poked my side. "Of course. " I laughed taking her hand going out to the catering building. Everyone was up getting ready for the upcoming show. It was impossible to be drained when everyone around you was so pumped. At least for most. For me it was another day of fighting back the part of me I hated the most. Outside the bus wynter our guitarist was bouncing around playing reincarnate on violin. The kid was a fucking genius.
Once we made it to the building we waited with the others. I felt like a Robot. Standing in a Row all waiting for the same, one thing on our minds. I must have Zoned out again because I was pulled back into reality by Liz's voice talking to Vic from pierce the veil. Once we where able to reach the food I mindlessly grabbed a Rock Star and a muffin, waiting for Liz while she filled her plate with bacon and waffles. I couldn't help but smile. Holding onto her hand we walked back to the bus. I set my breakfast on the counter before going into the back of the bus and grabbing my guitars making sure they where in tune. Chris was doing his warm ups, vinny was out probably with a bunch of girls. Ghost was helping wyn into his dress.
I jumped hearing Chris letting out a few random screams. Liz came up behind me giving my hand a soft squeeze. "I'm right here." She whispered. Everything seemed far away. The screaming was in my head again followed with a pain in my chest. Normally on days like this I'd go walk in the woods for hours and let it run wild. There was only certain times my demon was allowed out, show time wasn't one of them. "Let's just get this done." My voice was starting to change almost bitter and deeper. She nodded leading me to the main building where we would be holding our events. Everyone taking the places. Liz's hand firmly holding onto mine. I couldn't help but laugh thinking we looked like the Adams family. The flood gates opened as the crowds rushed in.
My head was pounding I couldn't fight it back anymore. In seconds everything was black. I was in my head again watching the monster take over. I couldn't feel Liz at my side. I couldn't stop what was about to happen. For what seemed like hours I sat there in silence grateful that no one spoke to me. I love our fans I really do but sometimes it's just to much. While the meet and greet was still going on I calmly excused myself for a moment. Liz stayed behind to fill my space for the moment and collect anything that was given to me. She really was the best thing to have ever happen to me. I walked behind the buildings smoking a cigarette. Leaning against the wall my eyes fixed on the crowd that was waiting outside. "GO!" I could hear it scream inside me. "KILL THEM GOD DAMN IT" I gripped my head digging my nails in trying to silence the voice but it only got louder. I couldn't fight it.
Before I knew it my fists where making contact with the skull of a guy in the crowd who was getting to out of hand with a girl in front of him. I couldn't hear the screams, I didn't see the guys come running out of the venue. While Ghost and wynter distracted the crowd telling them it was just a staged act I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head. Everything went black again. I could feel my body. I was being picked up. Chris, I could smell the spice of his cologne. Liz was next to him I could hear her. " I could have handled it." She sounded like she was pouting. I couldn't open my eyes. "And have him attack you? No. I got it. He'll be okay. It's not the first time. " I fought to open my eyes, I felt weightless, but that could have just been because of the fact Chris was carrying me like a rag doll.
This is what insanity feels like. Beating up a guy you don't know, only to be taken away by the head of your band.
