The Greatest Tale (Or: Two Kids on an Epic Quest to Save the World)

Chapter Four

Finally found good music for this book. :D

Music is "Money for School" by the Blasting Company. (Man, these guys are amazing. I'm probably going to end up using all the music from this show. xD)

They finally reached the inn after about five minutes of discussing parentage, work and other hobbies they did. They considered themselves quite informed about the other person and were proud of it. But ahead in the distance, the swinging sign of the Duck's Egg tavern materialized.

Tu'f pulled open the creaky wooden door of the inn, which also doubled as a tavern, and he and Du'ling walked in. They were greeted by the overpowering smell of meat and broth.

"Ah!" said Tu'f, "Smells like another batch of stew is being made."

"I hope not," Du'ling replied, "I hate stew."

They walked over to the bar, the creaking floor ever creaking, which helped them to seem important. A young man, who was short, thin, looked very bored and was dressed in a creased, leather apron, stood there with a frown on his face.

"What do ya want?"

"Well, what have you got?" asked Du'ling.

"Unfortunately, we only serve beer here and seeing as you two are minors..."

"Oh, don't worry about that," said Tu'f, "In this fantasy world, there is no legal drinking age."

"Why, you're right! Two beers coming up!"

Before they were motioned to their table, Tu'f asked a burning question that had been on his mind for the entire conversation. "Aren't all innkeepers supposed to be tall, fat and jovial? You don't seem to fit the bill."

The man glared at him. "Of course I'm not the innkeeper!" He motioned to the tall, fat and obviously jovial man who was laughing heartily with some guests. "That's the innkeeper, who happens to be my father."

"Oh..." Tu'f shifted his gaze back and forth between the two men, trying to find some resemblance. Seeing none, he turned and escorted Du'ling, with much protesting, to the table.

A barmaid sauntered up to their table, bearing two tankards of ale. "Here's your beer," she said in a high pitched voice, plopping the tankards down on the table and in true bar style, splashing Tu'f and Du'ling in the process. "Did ya both want anything to eat?"

"Of course! We're starving," Du'ling said, clutching her stomach. "What do you have?"

"Well, we have stew, bread and stew, bread, cheese and stew, fruit and stew, stew, stew, toasted sandwich and stew, stew, stew, stew, fruit and stew, stew, stew, stew, and stew-"

"Have you got anything without stew in it?" asked Du'ling.

"Of course not! Stew is our speciality! We've got to serve it in everything!"

"But, could I order something and not have the stew with it?"

The barmaid glared at her. "Why WOULDN'T you want the stew? Stew is great! Stew comprises every meal a protagonist has in a fantasy world!"

Du'ling looked confused. "Excuse me? What on earth is a protagonist?"

"Never mind that. Now, will you have the stew or not?"

Tu'f set down his ale and sighed. "Du'ling, don't worry. I'll have your stew. I love it! I'm getting the stew, stew, stew, fruit and stew."

"Oh, we're all out of fruit."

"Well, could you replace it with stew then?"

Again, the barmaid glared at him.

"Nevermind."

"I'll take the bread, cheese and stew," Du'ling said, giving a knowing look to Tu'f. "Provided someone helps me.."

"Fine then." The indignent barmaid strode back to the kitchen, empty tankards in hand. Even though I didn't say they were drinking, obviously they were, since the barmaid was carrying their empty tankards back to be refilled.

As they waited for their food, Tu'f pointed out the tall, grizzled, older man who sat in the furthest corner of the bar. "We need to recruit him."

He failed to notice the silent figure creeping up behind Du'ling.

"Yep," said Du'ling, "We also need to recruit this man right here who's eavesdropping on OUR CONVERSATION." She whipped around and held a knife to the man's throat.

"Wow. But wait, where'd the knife come from?" Tu'f asked, looking a bit confused.

Du'ling didn't take her eyes off the eavesdropper as she responded "From the table, obviously. But the real question is, who are you and what are you doing here?"

Suddenly, Tu'f remembered the role that the old man was supposed to play in this story. He shot up from his stool.

"DU'LING. THAT'S OUR MENTOR. DON'T TOUCH HIM."

Du'ling was so surprised, she dropped the knife. The old man quickly backed away, glaring at Du'ling.

"I was going to be your mentor and guide you through this quest with perfect clarity and thanks to me, nothing would have been confusing or vague..." the old man said.

"Oh, that's nice..." said Du'ling, "We don't need this to be complicated."

"BUT, since you so rudely attempted to kill me, I'll only give you this riddle and then I'll flee. I wash my hands of this whole business. You can find another mentor."

"Okay...what's the riddle?"

The old man clasped his hands behind his back, as if he was reciting a piece at school and said:

"One will kill the king;

One will save the king.

One will flee the king;

One will find the king."

"That's all I have for you nutcases. May you die a slow and painful death on this quest that I know you'll eventually succeed in, but hey, an old man can dream, right?" With that, the old man left without another word.

Nutcases indeed. 

I love writing this book, if you haven't figured that out yet. xD

Next chapter should be up in a few days. Until then!