The Greatest Tale (Or: Two Kids on an Epic Quest to Save the World)

Chapter Six

Song is "The Highwayman" by Blind Boy Paxton and The Blasting Company.

By the time the evening was over, Tu'f and Du'ling had already recruited six more members of their special team. These special people were gradually added as more and more people showed up to their table, wanting to go on an adventure.

Of course, there had to be some sort of a screening process. One cannot simply join a band of travelers; there has to be some requirements. Tu'f and Du'ling only had one.

He who wishes to join our band

Must have some sort of quirk on hand.

(Found in "The Incompetent Fool's Guide to Questing.")

Oddly enough, the vast majority of people who applied didn't have one specific quirk. There was a man who had a troubled background, complete with psychological torture, a young girl who sported scars all along her arms (she refused to tell them what they were from) and a woman who wanted something to do with her life, now that her children were grown and out of the house.

Obviously, these applicants were rejected on the spot. If one doesn't have a specific quirk that'll be used once on the quest and never spoken of again, what good are they?

A former duke also requested to join them. But since he was beloved by all the citizens in the village, Tu'f and Du'ling said no. Only outcasts and runaways could join them, for vague reasons unspecified...  

Luckily for the duo, they managed to find the quirky people needed for their quest.

There was a bard, one who sang songs but was currently unemployed because no one hires songs these days. A large man with incredible strength also joined the group, for he was an outcast in his own family due to being part giant and no one cared if he lived or died. A slender youth came up to the group as well, seeking to get out of the town. He was young and fair, but Tu'f suspected that he wasn't all he appeared to be. He was too feminine to be a boy. A fire-eater also joined them, claiming he was an outcast. A thief who could turn invisible at will also requested to join.

But the most important addition to the team was a new mentor. After savagely dealing with their last one, Du'ling was sent to scout out a new one. After all, they needed someone important to die on this quest, so that they could have a time of weeping. Honestly, what was a quest without a time of weeping? I can't think of any...

But, since they were desperate, the duo dragged a small man from his gambling game to join their group. Even with his excessive drinking problem (although I don't know how on earth there was such a thing as a drinking problem in this world, considering that kids could drink alcohol here), he still was a valued addition to their team because of his impressive joke-cracking skills. He was never given a name and so we know he won't live to be in another book. The rest of the bunch? Who knows? They did have red shirts handed to them when they joined...

Surrounded by this throng of people, Tu'f yelled, "Let's go everyone!"

The innkeeper was not too pleased at the state of his door that evening. 'Twas a mess he wasn't thrilled to clean up. Plus, it was difficult to figure out how on earth to patch up a large-man-sized hole in the door. So, he shrugged his shoulders and sent his son to try and find an architect. If they existed, that is. Honestly, no one knows if they exist or not, since the vast majority of buildings are poorly constructed and unoriginal.

But Tu'f and Du'ling's group didn't care. They were going on an adventure, which meant nothing could stop them. Not even expenses on a door. Because money on these types of quests is irrelevant and people really don't need it. Not even for food. That could be gotten for free.

But this was the start of a long and audacious quest. One that would last for weeks, perhaps months if some of the members without names survive for that long. Who knows? I don't. And I'm the narrator!

But first, they must encounter a small beast, one that means them harm, but not too much so that they are exposed to danger for the first time. These pansies have to be broken in somehow. And this is the best way to do so.

IT'S BACK.

Yes, I'm finally on Christmas Break for two weeks. Hence, I shall be working on this story and trying to get it mostly finished. I intend for it to be a novella, so it's feasible. :D

Let me know what you think! I think this is the story I enjoy writing the most and I hope you all are enjoying it too. :)

OH. This book placed third in the Majestic Awards in the Humor catagory! I honestly didn't expect to place, so it was a nice surprise. :)

See you all in a few days! ¡Feliz Navidad!