He's Alive (A FitzSimmons/AoS Story)

Drifting

Part Thirteen- Simmons's POV

"Okay, Simmons," Skye commanded, "Spill it."

I slowly sat up in my bed, staring at the girl crossing her arms in the doorway of my bunk, "What?"

She quickly moved and plopped herself down at the end of the mattress, "Coulson basically told you there is something up with what happened to Fitz and not once, not once in three days, have you done anything about it. You've been here in your room," She motioned to the area around her, "Doing whatever."

"And what's bad about that?" I asked as she un-twirled my secret of solitude over the past days.

"It isn't you! Simmons, you are not someone who allows the world to keep going while you stay put. You are a scientist that will go to the ends of the Earth to uncover the answer to everything. And sure, once in a blue moon, you will take a small break, granted, it is never on your terms, but this isn't you. I remember when you worked non-stop and risked your life in the Hub's lab to find out what was the miracle drug that saved my life. Simmons, you aren't one to quit or ever back down from a fight," I glared at her, "Well, a fight against science anyway. So spill it. Why are you not all over researching Fitz's condition?"

I bit my lower lip and brought my hands around my neck. I had spent the last couple of days thinking about what I could do to help him and in turn, coming up with absolutely nothing. So I laid in bed, not bothering to change out of the T-shirt and sweatpants I was sleeping in; not that I was even sleeping anyway, but it was better now, maybe for a couple hours every night.

"Simmons, have you hit a wall?" I hesitated, then nodded twice and Skye abruptly turned her body toward me instead of just her face. "Wait, have you even been down to the lab?" I didn't reply. "Why not?"

Her tone softened and I rested my chin on my wrists. I didn't know why. I felt like my mind was being toyed with by so many emotions over a short period of time. First, the pain and confusion I felt as I was separated from Fitz right after we were pulled out of the ocean; confusion from what he had told me and pain caused by the fear of losing him and how he gave up so easily for me. The two of us hadn't spent more than a day apart in over a few years, and when we did, the days weren't handled well, at least not for me. Then, there was the hurt and shock over seeing him in person then losing him all over again. Now, I felt frustration which was because for the first time in a while, I didn't know where to start. And maybe that was because Coulson had handed me a beginning I wasn't ready to accept or work on.

"I don't know why."

Skye let out a breath and used her sarcasm, "That really explains the people dropping by and asking where you are."

My hands dropped from around my neck and onto my lap with a slap, "What?" My brow was furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah, two agents, no doubt from the science division, you should have seen the acne troubles, dropped by with a couple of these test tube things and-"

"They wanted me to go over their work," I finished for her.

Skye nodded, "Simmons, if you already know what I'm going to say-"

"Don't make you say it?" I guessed and she deadpanned, "Okay, I'll try my best, but I can't make any promises. I've been doing it all my life."

"That I believe," Skye commented, "So what's wrong? Why aren't you sleeping? Tell me why you're avoiding the lab and researching and Fitz and all the things you've ever relied on in your life."

Science and Leopold Fitz. The only things I've spent the last ten years relying on to keep me grounded. Of course family is mixed in there somewhere, but I haven't been as close with them as I have been with Fitz. Honestly, he understood and knew me better than anyone in my family; except for my late grandmother, who had always asked me about school, science and life, while the rest of my immediate family didn't really understand. And friends weren't really in the picture until I went into the Academy, my peers saw something off with a twelve year old starting freshman year, and as we all grew older, the odd feeling about my age and year in school stuck. When I did enter the Academy, everything fell into place. The people around me recognized me as a student worthy of being in the same year as they did. But from the moment he stepped into my life, Fitz became a constant. And he remained that constant in our life of variables and questions and abnormalities. I remembered the night my gran had died; my mum's phone call, how I had missed my chance to say goodbye. How Fitz's arms held me as I cried myself to sleep on his chest. A chill went down my spine at the thought of his body against my own.