I Need A Hero

Chapter Four

Today is the day of Uncle Joe's funeral, and I'm a mess. I can't stop sobbing and I've been having nightmares ever since his death. My parents haven't made me go to school at all this week, and I'm surprised when Anastasia shows up after school to give me my homework and before school to pick it up.

I still don't understand why she wants to be my friend; no one wants to be my friend. I've only ever had Camille and Uncle Joe after I lost Zachary, and now I've lost Uncle Joe, too.

While my parents constantly try to suffocate me by constantly babying me about this entire thing, Camille is more... Understanding and helpful. Same with Anastasia, too. They don't baby me about it. Camille knows exactly what I'm going through; she's going through the exact same thing, because she was as close with Uncle Joe as I was. Anastasia understands what I'm going through, because she says that she's gone through it before. Well, who hasn't, to be honest?

I'm currently sitting in my room, writing:

Dear Zachary,

I haven't written to you for so long, and I'm so sorry for that. It's been a little too much to deal with lately.

Uncle Joe is dead, Zachary. He died right in front of me. Well, not RIGHT in front of me, but I was there when the life finally completely drained out of him.

I hope he is with you now, and that you two are looking out for each other. You honestly have no idea how much I miss the both of you. I really hope I don't lose Camille...

Anastasia and I have been getting along really well, and she's really nice... But I just don't understand why anyone but you, Uncle Joe, or Camille would ever like me and be my friend...

I really hope that I'm able to get out of this mess soon. I hope that Camille gets better, that the cancer goes away. I hope that my partents finally divorce. It'll be hard on me, but it's better than having to witness them ALWAYS CONSTANTLY fighting.

I haven't been to school since Uncle Joe's death, so I haven't been bullied by Jake at all recently. I mean, if you call this past week 'recently'....

I should go, because it's the day of Uncle Joe's funeral and Mom is yelling at me from down stairs to get ready. Don't you remember all the times she'd yell at us for staying up too late on Fridays and Saturdays? Sorry, that was random, but I'm just thinking bout all the good memories we've had together....

I can't seem to stop thinking about you, Zachary. The way everything ended wasn't the way I wanted it to happen. I can't believe that you're gone because of me; it tears me apart everyday when I think about that awful day, when I watched my best friend die in front of me.

This whole thing with Uncle Joe is bringing back memories of that day, of the day you left me, of the day you died. I feel as though I'm experiencing it all over again...

I'm gonna go now and get ready for the funeral. I promise I'll write REALLY soon.

I love you, Zachary.

Love Always,

Lily

I close my journal and set it down on my piano, right next to my song book. I sigh deeply as I change into my funeral outfit: a black dress and black leggings with black fur boots. It's honestly the closest thing to depressing looking funeral clothes I have.

I take a deep, deep breath, and then let it out. How am I supposed to live through today? It will be Hell; I just know it. It somehow feels like this funeral will be harder to endure than Zachary's funeral was. I just don't know how I'm going to survive it.