The Elemented

Regret

P.O.V: Ajax

I shake my head as I replay the accusation and betrayal that just happened in Iris's cell. The one thing that I thought was my favorite power, turned out to be my least right now. I replayed her thoughts in my head over and over as if my mind was on repeat. What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling like I just let down one of the people that I care so much about? I just met this girl, who I was supposed to get information out of, yet I feel like I have to make her feel happy. Ugh!! I scream in my mind, but keep my face blank and vacant as I walk into the surveillance room and face the Lord.

"So, did you find out anything, Informant Ajax?" He asks me kindly and hopefully.

I nod, wanting nothing more than to punch him in his face and break his crooked nose. I take a deep breath and the true guilt settles in the pit of my stomach as I tell him everything about Iris that I know of.

"She has no idea how important and dangerous she truly is." I finish.

" I don't want just background information, Ajax. I want useful information. Like what she already is able to control. I want answers!" His eyes are hard and filled with anger. He leans his head close to mine, narrowing his eyes. "I don't need my informant going soft because of a single girl. Don't get too close, but get close enough for her to let her guard down. Ajax, Iris is the one thing standing in the path of the New World. You need to get closer to her. Just get valuable and useful information. You know what will happen if you step out of line. Watch your step, Informant Ajax. You remember what happened to the last informant, don't you?" His hand is on my shoulder squeezing it.

"Yes, My Lord." I reply and swallow a lump that had formed in my throat.

He nods at me, dismissing me from work. I don't bother to go back to Iris's cell because she might hurl a fireball at me. I hang my head in despair and confusion. Instead, I crash onto my bed and pull out my black leather journal, knowing she probably won't write back.

Iris?

I wait for twenty minutes and she finally writes back. I let go of a breath I had just realized I was holding.

You tricked me into trusting you!!!!

I can hear her thoughts and my guilt eats at my stomach even more.

I know, but I don't have a choice, Iris. What I told you about me is all true. I really was taken and tortured and forced to help the Lord. Please don't make me feel any worse than I already do.....

Make you feel worse?!! Ha! I was stupid enough to actually start trusting you. If anyone made the mistake, it was me. You used me, Ajax. I just can't believe that I was stupid enough to trust you and think you were different.

I run my hand through my hair in frustration and a strange feeling of defeat. No, I need to explain everything now or I might not have the chance again. Iris might not even bother to even look at me and that thought kind of scares me a little.

Iris, if I didn't, then He would kill me. Is that what you want? For me to die at the hands of the Lord? Look, I know you want to get out of here as soon as possible. I can hep you if you just let me.

I could feel how angry at me and at herself because of me. This is my fault that she feels like she can't trust anyone around her. Not even people she thought was her friend.

I don't want or need your help!! I will escape and leave you and every fucking guard in a heap of smoke and burning asphalt.

Okay, fine!! If you don't want help, then I won't talk to you again. I won't bother you ever again. Just answer this one question.

Iris takes a few minutes before writing back.

Fine. What's the damn question?

If you didn't feel a connection, would you have trusted me then?

I find myself holding my breath again, waiting for her to reply.

no.....but that does't make a difference!
It doesn't? Are you sure??

I...I don't know, okay? All I know is that you fucking lied to my face!!

Iris, I didn't lie to you....I just....with held information because I knew you would never trust me if I did tell you!

This is starting to get a little annoying and frustrating that she won't at least think about letting me help her, even though she doesn't have to trust me.

It would have been better if you told me, Ajax. That's why I'm mad.....You didn't tell me everything. I thought I could actually trust you.....

Iris, hear me out okay? I really want to help you get out of this prison. Please, just let me help you.

I don't know, Ajax.....

Do you want to escape or not? I ask bluntly.

Okay, okay. Fine. I'll let you help me, but that doesn't mean I trust you.

That's all I needed. With that, I close the book and fall asleep.