Homebound

Chapter 26

           Asher slams his lockers shut. Another week has passed filled with indifference to the world, only going through the motions of life because of Mr. Mosby. If Asher really had a choice, he'd be lying on the couch, smoking, and eating the day away. Asher walks to the library where he always meets Billy. He expects the brown haired boy to be standing at the entrance waiting for him. However, he isn't there yet, so Asher slides down the wall. He watches the passing crowd, not really seeing them. He's again lost in this own mind, the place of torture.

           He replays the scene from last Sunday. "You have a loving home who wants you back... You're a self-pitying loser who doesn't open his eyes to his blessings...Get over yourself... If you stop having a flair for drama, you would be so much happier!" Delilah's words repeat over and over again. Her look of vexation disturbs him. What haunts him most is the shaking of her voice. Delilah speaks in a clear way that makes everyone want to listen to what she has to say. The only time she quivers is when she wants to cry. He's the reason for her sadness.

          This piece of information settles in his mind, and he spends all his time brooding about it. He didn't react when Delilah was confronting him. He hasn't reacted to anything recently. He doesn't want to react to anything. If he reacts, then that means he cares. He figures that caring is the catalyst for his pain. If he stops caring then he doesn't need to be hurt. So far, his experiment has worked. He doesn't feel anything. But, then Delilah's exasperated figure appears before him. In his disinterest, he's pushed everything in his life away.

           "Asher! Sorry, I'm late. A teacher had to speak to me." Billy shows up, breathless.

            Asher rises and dusts himself off. "That's fine." He pays attention to Billy's eyes and notices the flash of distress. How come he's never seen it before? They walk out the building and shouting calls their attention. A freshman girl is yelling at a senior. They can't make out what's being said, but Asher can tell their siblings. They have the same 'look' that is associated with their family name. The scene is oddly well known. The girl is annoyed at her older brother and, he's smiling in a mischievous way, egging her on. The boy says something back to her and hugs her. The girl struggles but ultimately is hugging him back. An aching pangs his heart and startles him. He grabs to his chest and Billy.

             "Are you ok?" The smaller boy asks, nervousness lacing his question.

             "I'm fine." He responds, fumbling for a cigarette.

             "We're on school property, Asher. Can't you wait?" Billy begs. Asher stares at Billy and is aware of the defeat in his figure. Hadn't he promised Billy that he wouldn't smoke? Extreme times call for extreme measures. His excuse seems so pathetic to him now.

            "Yeah, I can." Billy's dismay annoys him. Why is he so shocked? "Why are you so shocked?" He says annoyed. Billy grins widely, his face shining and his eyes crinkle. "Why are you smiling? It's like I asked you to marry me." Asher ruffles Billy's hair. "Let's go eat. I want some Mama's for dinner." He walks ahead with his head held high, his shoulder back, and his arrogant swagger begins to return. "Come on, Billy boy. I'm hungry."

            Joshua and Isaac never thought they'd see Asher again. They've grown accustomed to the moping teenage boy with a permanent frown and his apathy to all matter. Asher is eating again. And by again, instead of one plate, he's going for larger portions.

            "We've ordered already. I may have or may have not eaten a bit of your food. Sorry, but not really." Asher greets them as he picks a chicken nugget from Billy's plate.