Homebound

Chapter 13

          High school.

         An unforgiving place where a man eats man. It's where survival skills are tested. You either get out of there alive or die trying. It's where the strong and smart prey on the weak and ignorant. Where to be different is a cardinal sin, punishable by death. Where the authority takes advantage of their power and is corrupt.

     Asher stands by the entrance of Weston's Preparatory Academy, observing the new environment. He watches as classmates catch up with one another, girls squealing in joy and boys grinning. Teachers greet students as they rush to get to their classroom. The noise is deafening. The light is too bright. The hallway floors squeak as shoes rub against them. Lockers are being slammed shut. Yeah; he's not doing this. He's definitely not doing this. Asher turns to leave when he feels a tight grip on his shoulders.

    "Where do you think you are going?" A tall girl with her hair pulled back questions as she places her hands on her hips. Her glasses are on the tip of her nose, and she has a badge that reads, 'Hall Monitor.'

    "Places." 

   "I hope that place is the office."

   "Obviously; that's why I'm walking out. The office is in the parking lot." Asher rolls his eyes.

  "Stop being sarcastic, and go to the office. It's at the end of the hall; take a turn on the right. It's the only door in the hallway with double doors. Now go." She commands him with her finger. Asher salutes and turns his back on her.There's no point in escaping now. He'll wait until later. He swaggers down the hall. All eyes scrutinize him. He catches girls' eyes and causes them to giggle. He could hear the whispers about him. He hates it. He hates the attention he draws. He knows they are forming opinions about him. They will judge him, and they don't even know him. They won't try to get to know him either. They will be quick to assume and never attempt to find the truth about him. 

     Asher leaves the office glad to be out of there. The secretary is a sweet, old woman but talks way too much. He strolls down the halls, taking his precious time to get to homeroom. He observes his surrounding, looking at posters and decorations on people's lockers. His homeroom is on the third floor, second door on the left end hallway. It may sound simple enough, but there's a plot twist. There are two buildings. That means he has to bounce between buildings to get to classes. Asher chuckles at himself. Him going to classes is a fantasy. He has a tendency to ditch school. A lot.

     Asher sees the double door that will lead to the next building. He lessens his pace if that is even possible. He's prolonging the inevitable. That's when he sees a glass showcase. It's filled with trophies and plaques for the sports teams. He stands in front of it, glancing at names and photographs. Asher feels envious at the moment. He longs to be apart of a team. The loyalty towards one another. The unbreakable bond formed. The sense of purpose given. He never tried out for any team. Who would accept him? The wild, unstable, and rash boy. It's partially his fault. He never was on time to anything or participated in anything. He is the one that shows no interest.

     Now, he can easily join a club. Why doesn't he? It's a very obvious answer. He'll stay alone because it's safe. He won't have to open up and leave himself vulnerable. To come to trust people and be left disappointed.

      Asher decides he should get to class when a picture catches his eye and leaves him speechless. It's a young Robert being held on the shoulders of his teammates as he raised the winning trophy for... baseball? Robert is smiling triumphantly, his baseball uniform was dirty, and his cap was askew. There is another picture of the baseball team aligned, grinning boyishly at the camera. Robert 's arm was thrown over the shoulder of one of his comrades. His other arm is raised to shield his eyes from the sun. Right below the pictures is a plaque that read, 'Robert Barker. Dedicated player to the Weston's Redcaps. April 15th '90.' Below is a silver crest that has two bats crossing over each other with a pitcher's baseball glove and cap in between. Surrounding it is green wreaths, reminding Asher of what ancient Greeks would wear on their hair.

     Asher bends to check the bottom shelf to see if there is anything more to do with Robert. Asher likes the young boy in the pictures. He exudes confidence that reassures Asher. He seems like a guy that Asher can't help but admire. He tries to shake the feeling away. He doesn't want to admit that he finds the young Robert cool. What he does find is pictures of the cheer leading squad and their awards. In one of the pictures, a girl is being tossed in the air. She's seen in multiple pictures doing all crazy stunts that make Asher a little nervous. He finally finds a picture with all the squad standing and facing the camera. This dark haired beauty smirks as if she knows something you don't. Her blue eyes sparkle in a mischievous way. Something about her intrigues Asher. He feels a sort of connection to her. It's something he can't explain. This mystery girl gives him comfort. He feels like he knows her in a way no one does.

    He suddenly has a great desire to discover more about his birth parents. He doesn't understand why this noble-looking female triggers him to feel this way. Something about her is so familiar. It's like Asher can learn more about her by searching into his past. Don't ask him how he came to that conclusion. It's a very obvious fact that you don't think about; you just know. With that resolution in mind, Asher exits the building and leaves school ground as if he didn't have a class to get to.

     He wanders not caring where his feet take him. He never felt so lost in his life. Asher recognizes many of his emotions. He can name each of it and tell you when he feels it. For example, pain is a dear friend. He feels it most of the time, sometimes dull and sometimes sharp. He feels angry when Robert lectures him and when Delilah ignores him. He feels sad when all of Laura's cookies are gone. He feels content when he is hanging out with Joshua and Isaac. He feels relaxed when he is reading a book. He feels wanted when Joshua asks him to play with him.

      This feeling of loss is foreign. Asher has a sense of direction; he has a plan of action; he is always moving forward. He can't afford to be stuck behind, to let himself fall behind, to not be able to go ahead. Lost is a terrible emotion to feel. Asher doesn't know what to do with himself.

     Asher's birth parents is a mystery that he never felt the need to solve. He knows his mother is dead, but he never felt sad about her. How could he feel sad about the death of someone he didn't know? He wishes for a mother's love and comfort. Not his mother's love and comfort specifically. The love and comfort of the mother he created in his head. He is sad for missing out on special bond one feels with a mother. Of being cherished. He does not miss her physical being, but what she represents.

    His father could burn in the depths of hell. He could die a slow and torturous death. Let him feel pain and suffering in its highest degree. Asher loathes his father. All his anguish, depression, and loneliness are because of that bastard. It doesn't matter if his father is a good person. A man everyone idolizes. To him he is not a man. A man would never let his son battle the world alone. To leave him to figure out a place of no mercy. That son of a b**ch is as dead to him as his mother.

     Then why does he mind now? He freezes in his place and looks up at the sky. He's directing his question to G-d. Asher is in no way religious. He doesn't go to any house of worship or read any bible. He doesn't abide by any rule or keep any custom. Has Asher questioned His judgment? Hell yes. Has he lost faith in G-d? He never had faith from the beginning. Yet, he doesn't deny His existence. The fact he knows there is someone or thing, whatever G-d is, should count. So maybe this once G-d can listen to him. If G-d can hear him, Asher begs Him to answer his question.

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              Hey everyone! I hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday! I went to this University of Chicago information session. A burned an hour and half doing something for my future. Go me! I'm so proud of this chapter. I feel like there was a lot of messages about life. Stay awesome!

                                                                                          Liz