"please god, let this one last..."
with five failed relationships, namjoon's hoping maybe this time he really is the one.
[namgi]
; bottom joon, top yoongi.
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KIM TAEHYUNG 2013
How are you? I hope you're doing well. Do you remember how we met? It was at summer camp; it was my first time at a camp, and we cross paths during the bonfire. You sat next to me because I looked lonely. Thank you for that. I was expecting to just finish the last pages of my novel, but you delayed it. Mid-chapter, you placed your hands over mine and shut my book closed, you said "Listen to my words instead of reading someone else's, okay? I won't repeat this, so listen for real: I like you, Kim Namjoon."
Eight weeks was all it took, huh? What made you say that, so boldly - so quick? It was hard to say no to someone like you. You became my first boyfriend, saying no became profanity. I wonder if it was too quick? Too much? Too irrational? After camp ended, you went back to Daegu - we tried so hard to stay connected, but I knew soon enough those calls and texts would get quieter; I knew even if you had a loud voice, it would get quiet at some point. Distant. It all just stopped. We didn't have the right to call each other lovers no longer,
but thank you for being my first love.
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PARK JIMIN 2014
It's nice to see you smile, but I reminisce in the fact it's no longer me who makes you smile. I remember when you were mine, I believed you were mine. The moment you came to my eyesight, I thought you were going to stay there forever. Life was being too rough on me that time, I was desperate not to be engulfed by it. The first time you saw me breakdown - it will forever be clear in my memories. I couldn't give my class presentation, my throat shut tight. My exhaustion clouded my eyes and my anxiety crawled up my throat; my lips went numb, my eyes closed, and my ears paralyzed by the whispers of self-deprecation. I was too pent up.
You, you went up to me and took me out of the class to breathe in the hallway, surrounded by silence and lockers. My lungs seized, and you held my hands. You knew a thing or two about whispers, my ears turned pink from your lips near them; "Sometimes things won't always be fine, but that's okay. Anything you do, will always be enough. Breathe. You are enough." I fell in love with you that day. I hoped you'd hold me and whisper those sweet things to make my heart sing forever. I believed my heart was singing loud enough for my parents to hear, so I'm guilty to say: I was thrilled to show you to my family. Thank you for being my second lover,
