thank u, next ❂ namgi

4. SMILES LACKING HOPE

Minho never came back the whole day. Namjoon had already been five hours into work, he didn't think about it much. He tried to get his mind off it at least. Ending up getting a couple of paper cuts on his fingers from rereading the script a dozen of times.

"Namjoon..."

"Hm?"

Chaewon grabbed the paper from his hands to grab his full attention. He placed the paper on the table before adjusting his spectacles and looking at Namjoon. "You've been on page thirty seven for an entire hour."

Namjoon looked at his fingertips before looking back at Chaewon. "... I was just looking for errors..."

"I'm offended that you assume there are errors in my script," Chaewon say, taking off his glasses, "... Are you alright? Did something happen today?"

Namjoon looked at him hesitantly. "... You're not gonna..."

Charwon sighed, waving a hand over his own face. "Boss face mask off," Chaewon says, placing his elbows on the desk, "Now tell me what's wrong."

Namjoon sighed, placing his hand on his lap. "... Chaewon-"

"Hey, hey, hey," Chaewon stopped him, "No professionalism here, it's friend talking to friend, okay? I know I let you guys call me by my first name during work, but not now. We're on nickname terms, remember what I said you should call me."

"... Okay, um Chae..." Namjoon slowly nodded, "... I'm just tired..."

"Tired means many things," Chaewon says, "You're not just tired, Namjoon."

Namjoon pursed his lips, sitting up and taking a deep breath. "... I don't know if I should continue finding someone. Not after-"

"You should," Chaewon insists, "... It's good for you, Namjoon."

"But is it really?" He questions, looking back at Chaewon, "... You're right, I'm not just tired. I'm downright exhausted. I get it, finding someone new is a good thing, but there's only so much time before finding someone new becomes old."

"Honestly, sometimes letting go is easier than getting back," Namjoon continues, "... I should know, I've experienced it ever since my heart was given to somebody else."

"I can help you meet someone-"

"No, oh god no-"

Chaewon held his hand up, telling him to stop protesting. "For every word you use to cut me off, it's money off your paycheck. Got it?" Namjoon shut his mouth. "Thank you."

"I'll give you a couple days to cool off, but if finding someone is hard for you. I can help," Chaewon says, "I've got connections."

"... Chae, I don't know-" Chaewon furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms," ".... Sorry," Namjoon pursed his lips and puffed his cheeks.

"I've got an actor who studies in Europe," Chaewon says, "He'll be coming back to Korea soon since he just graduated, and I've allowed him to audition over video call for the role of Chaeyoung's love affair. Since our time zones were different, I let him audition after work hours."

Namjoon nods slightly. "I'll give you a few days to think," Chaewon says, "But i'm setting you guys up a date this friday."

"This friday?!" Namjoon sits up, his eyes slightly widening, "Chaewon, you're only giving me three days! The- The play! I don't have time to go on a blind date-"

"I'll make friday night another team dinner, but you'll just be with him," Chaewon says, taking his hand and holding out his pinky. "Promise you'll go."

"He's a good guy," He continues, "... You'll like him, despite the age gap..."

Namjoon hesitates, but he holds out his hand. "... Age gap?"

"He recently turned twenty, but he headed straight to university right after he graduated high school at seventeen," Chaewon sighs, "... You guys aren't that far apart, right?"

Namjoon put his hand back on his lap. "... I'm twenty four, Chae," He groans, "He isn't even old enough to drink yet! N-N-Not that I drink or anything, I just..."

"He's mature, I promise you," Chaewon shakes his head, "He's smart, he's good-looking in my opinion, and he's... He's nice."

"... Why'd you pause on He's nice?" Namjoon crosses his arms, his eyebrows slightly furrowing and his cheeks puffing.

"Just trust me!" Chaewon exclaims, waving his hand around. "Quit hesitating, I'm just tryna help you!"

"... Fine, I'll go." Chaewon claps his hands.

"But if I hear anybody tell me to drink," Namjoon says, "... I'm out, I'm leaving."

"I know you don't drink," Chaewon says, nodding his head, "No one will force you, Namjoon. I swear."

Namjoon let's out a breath of relief, "... Okay."

They worked for the rest of the day till the sun began to set, and Namjoon had to rush back home. Not for anything particularly he had to do at home, it was just that he didn't feel safe walking alone when the sun was gone. His keychain was the only thing that made him feel a tiny bit safe during the night if he had to walk out alone during the night, but it wasn't enough. It never really was.

He slid off his shoes as soon as he closed the door behind him. He finally made it home without hassle, and decided to finally eat an actual whole meal - considering food had dropped from his priorities till his stomach had gotten fed up from demanding, and turned against his head making him lightheaded from walking home. His body could only do so much with the lack of care within.

He placed his palm on the couch, glancing at a photo frame beside the TV. Just for a minute, he looked. Just for a minute, quietly, you could hear his breathing from the silence.

Namjoon moved over and took it out from the wall, taking it off from the nail it was hanging from. He should've put the photo away, but he didn't. He never does.

He gently wiped his thumb over the smiling faces to clean the dust before placing it back on the wall. He couldn't see his own smile, it reminded him of too much. He took a deep breath, and walked away.

Leaving the photo right where it always is.

[unedited]

[Q]
Do you think Namjoon's method of letting someone go is healthy for him?