If You Loved Me Once

Confessions

Jimin had come home late from dance practice as usual. Not that it mattered to anyone if he did that. He was a perfectionist at his dancing and everyone knew it. No one would be up anyway so he wouldn't have to talk to anyone or hear them tell him he needed to make sure to eat and rest and do all those other things that Jimin tended to forget.

He opened the door quietly and stepped into the dorm. He was right, everyone was asleep, but not everyone was in their rooms. Jimin tiptoed over to the couch and began to gently shake the sleeping figure there. "Yoongi hyung, you shouldn't sleep on the couch. Its not good for your back" The older boy groaned as he rolled over and slowly opened his eyes. "I was waiting for you" he replied, voice gravely with sleep.

Jimin wasn't surprised to find the older boy hadn't gone to bed yet, even though bed was one of his favorite places to be. Jimin had told Yoongi earlier in the day that he wanted to talk to him about something. Well, not just something, he wanted to talk about them, as in THEM. Things had been tense lately and Jimin had a feeling he knew why. After 4 years of being best friends, sharing rooms, showers, even beds together, things had begun to change, for both of them. Yoongi and Jimin had always regarded each other  with the deepest respect and love two people could have for one another. They had always shared a close bond, often staying up all night just chatting and keeping each other company. The friendship he shared with Yoongi was one of the most important in Jimin's life. What was he supposed to do now that the friendship had begun to morph itself into something else. It had him on edge and he wasn't sure if he was ready to have this conversation. Maybe that was why he had stayed so late dancing. Maybe he wasn't ready to talk about this after all. Apparently though, Yoongi was, because there he was looking back at him with that damn gummy smile plastered to his sleepy face, welcoming him home.
Yoongi scrunched up his nose, let out a huge yawn and sat up. "why are you getting back so late? I thought you wanted to talk", Yoongi looked at Jimin with questioning eyes." Did you at least eat?"

Jimin almost said yes to his question but as he looked at Yoongi he realized he just couldn't lie to him "I didn't get a chance, I was working on the new choreography and time got away from me. I think its coming along really we - " Yoongi placed his hand over Jimin's mouth to quiet him. "You need to eat, Jimin" Yoongi ordered as he got up from the couch and made his way into the kitchen. "I'll make you something, maybe heat up some leftovers...that okay?"

Really, Jimin wasn't hungry but he appreciated how Yoongi worried about him even when he didn't bother to worry about himself, so he followed him into the kitchen and agreed to the warmed, leftover kimchi rice that Yoongi was offering. He watched as the older boy  prepared his food for him, wondering for the millionth time in the last few weeks how he had gotten lucky enough to have him in his life at all, let alone as one of his best friends. He also wondered if all that was about to change , he wondered if he was ready. "Thanks for always taking care of me hyung" Jimin smiled,  allowing his fingers to gently brush over Yoongi's hands as he reached for the bowl and chopsticks. He looked up at his friend with an almost shy gaze, "what would  I do without you?"

Jimin noticed the serious look in Yoongi's eyes as the older boy answered, "you'll never have to find out if I can help it Jiminie" The younger boy nervously averted his gaze as he swallowed a mouthful of rice. This had been happening a lot lately. Yoongi talking in words that spoke of always and forever, of possibilities. And the way Yoongi had been looking at him lately also made Jimin wonder where the older boys head was. All those possibilities showed up in the glances that Yoongi gave him across the room, when he watched him dance, when he listened to him sing, almost everything Jimin did these days was rewarded with a look of admiration and even adoration from his hyung, but as much as Jimin loved it, loved Yoongi, these things actually scared the hell out of him. What exactly was his hyung trying to tell him? That as his band mate he would always have his back? That he just really liked the way Jimin danced and sang? It felt way more personal than that and if Jimin were being honest, he too had been entertaining feelings beyond friendship when their eyes met, which happened quite frequently of late, across the room. But Jimin also had to admit that the thought of becoming more than friends had been causing him terrible anxiety and sleepless nights. He just wasn't sure at all if he was ready for that right now, or if he ever would be. He needed to tell Yoongi that. He needed to get this off his chest and now was as good a time as any.