Sensitive Skin

Sensitive Skin|10

Zoey

I was currently standing inside her hallway, staring into her apartment shivering.

"Take of your shoes, and come in." She said handing me a towel, I slowly slid of my shoes groaning when I saw they had torn.

Mental note to buy a new pair, I could afford a new pair of course- I could afford basically everything in her apartment but instead I allowed myself to live life like an average person because I feel like there is more joy earning what you genuinely want then just being able to go out and have it.

"It was cold out there." I whispered, drying my hair off.

"I have clothes you can change into, they might be a little big." She said, my cheeks blushed.

"Okay." I said as I followed her, she handed me a sweater and a pair of shorts.

She showed me to the bathroom and I felt insecure and shy, I noticed the little girl toys scattered in the corner of the bathroom and the adorable butterfly stickers on the tub wall- the kids towel.

I genuinely loved that she had a child, a part of me jealous that I still hadn't gotten to that point in my life yet. I quickly changed, making sure to take off my bra and underwear and wrap it in my wet clothes. I felt very weird putting on the shirt and shorts with no undergarments on.

I hadn't been this close and open with another woman in years, as you have realized my relationship with my ex wasn't like this. As I've come to realize there was never a true relationship there just her using me as a safe place while she did what she wanted, fucked who she wanted while pretending that she loved me. She did damage on my mental and emotional state, it became harder and harder to love myself as who I am- I became so wrapped up in what she loved about me that I became the person she loved and not who I loved. The one you end up with should love you, and not force you to create a fake version of yourself so they can love you, that's not love because I guarantee once they actually find the person they made you become and realize that they can have what they wanted to begin with, they'll leave you without even a glance of remorse.

She also became abusive, I remember being bratty when we met. It didn't start until after high school that she became aggressive towards the things I did. I realized she was correcting my behavior, making sure I was afraid to do things and make mistakes but she could never get me to give up my money or school no matter how hard she hurt me- it was too important to me because of what my parents asked of me growing up. They had put so much love and support into my life before I did and their dreams of me becoming successful in whatever I decided to be successful in was their biggest goal and I feel guilty for almost allowing a monster to change that.