Notes

Nov 9

I am so scared of becoming the kind of person I despise the most. Every day I do things that bring me closer to being someone who I would complain about. All the things that I've been told that I am and I denied are becoming true.
Ever since I started doing better with my mental health I was starting to re-discover myself. But now I think that maybe that was a mistake.
I once was told that I act as if the world turned around me. At that moment it didn't get to me because until then I was never told something like that, I was always told that I'm very kind hearted and a sweet child, so it didn't matter.
But that comment stuck around with me. And as time passed, I realised that it's true. Maybe I was a sweet kid and later on started to become more selfish. Or maybe I've always been like this and I've only been lied to.
I really am trying to change that. I will do as much good as I can, and be as selfless as I can.
But that's not the only thing I have to change. It's way too much stuff. Maybe I should give up.
Anyway, who cares.
We been knew I'm a fake hoe, so whatever.
I wish I could do what i should've done a long time ago.
I kept postponing it. Lost of excuses, way too many.
But I can't do it yet. There's things I want to do. My mom needs me. I can't leave her yet.
I shouldn't post this. But I will lmao.
anyway, I'll go have some pizza now.
Edit: OKAY NOW I FEEL BAD FOR POSTING THIS . . who tf cares about my first world problems?? boo hoo you're a fucking idiot, whatever, that ain't no one's bussines you dumb hoe.
I'll leave it here so I can see this in the future and learn to not do this ever again.