In·fi·del·i·ty

XII. Pink + White

"Girls can't never say they want it
Girls can't never say how
Girls can't never say they need it
Girls can't never say now..."

Onika
September 11th
St. Louis, Missouri
2:30 am

After Beyoncé and I's heart to heart the day seemed to roll by quickly into my first night on tour.

Even after pouring her most inner self out she instantly turned back into the powerhouse everyone knew her to be, it was commendable honestly, but I knew it wasn't healthy.

The rest of the day was smooth and night fell quickly and I was introduced to my first stadium audience, the crowd was surreal and seeing Beyoncé perform made it even more unbelievable that I was actually on tour with her.

After the show was over I was all ready to get a bed on one of the tour buses until Dalton informed me anyone on Beyoncé's personal team stayed in the hotel with her, I don't know why I was shocked and expected anything less.

I'd finally reached the hotel at about 1:30 am, and after getting myself wined down and showered I was ready for a much needed rest, it was pushing 2:30 in the morning and I knew I was going to pass out at any moment.

Just as I had closed my eyes not even five seconds later my phone vibrated on the nightstand, usually I would've left it but since it was this late at night it might've been important.

I picked up my phone only to have all the drowsiness drain right out of me as I looked at the message on the screen.

Beyoncé: Onika if you're up would you mind coming to my room?

I squinted my eyes surprised at the message, we hadn't really talked much after our moment, if anything it seemed like she was distant. I couldn't help the butterflies that settled in the pit of my stomach as I typed back.

To Beyoncé: sure what room?

I pressed send and almost immediately three grey dots popped up.

Beyoncé: just come to floor 10, security knows you're coming.

I sat my phone down looking at my attire, fuzzy socks, leggings, and a crop top. My hair thrown into a messy bun, my face of course void of makeup. I contemplated on changing, but it was 2:30 in the morning and I don't think she expected me to look my best, so I settled for a long cardigan to keep me warm.

I slipped into my slides and grabbed my phone and cross body bag. The hallway was empty but luckily the elevator was right across the hall from my room. I quickly pressed the up button since I was on floor 8 and she was on 10. Once the doors opened I stepped in.

I couldn't help but let my mind wander about what she could possibly want to talk about this late at night, I wasn't complaining but in reality I knew my feelings for her were only growing stronger, no matter how much I tried to tell myself they weren't right, something about her made me want to lay all my cards out on the table for her, and it scared me because of how quickly I'd started to feel this way.