Today

10 1 2

by -cagedcanary-

by -cagedcanary-

" 'What does depression feel like?' he whispered.

'It's like drowning. Except you can see everyone around you breathing.' "

~~ Unknown source

Today feels like silence.

Like if the winter wind blew hard enough,

I'd disappear in a gust of luck.

Today feels like drama.

Like I'm seven years old again,

Pressing the palms of my hands to my ears, and saying to myself,

"It'll be okay."

Today feels like I'm far from the surface.

Like the ocean has swallowed me up,

And it has no intention of bringing me to the shore again.

Today feels like a bird clattering in a cage.

Like all my troubles, all my pain is clanging and crashing,

Trying to catch my attention.

Today feels like four months ago,

When I sat on that old bench in my grandmother's farmyard,

Grieving for a friend I had always kept at arm's length.

Today feels like impossible,

Like all the positive sticky-notes in the world,

All my attempts to weather the storm,

Are all for nothing, and my progress on the document wasn't saved.

Today started so good.

But I can't, and I won't, let it end badly.

Because I've tumbled back down the mountain,

And I know I can only go up from here.

Today feels like an off day. Nothing more, nothing less.