When a woman musters up the courage to leave a dysfunctional marriage, society makes it hard for her. Which stirs conflicting feelings where she regrets ending her marriage, but does not regret leaving her ex husband. There are great miraculous stories of how patience has paid off and there are also wonderful second chance success stories that were worth ending first mistakes.
I agree, patience is a beautiful thing Patience is enduring hardship with a positive attitude, and its reward is gratifying. When a husband encounters some sort of misfortune by chance, I understand how patience is a virtue. A husband may go broke, fall ill, lose his job or sustain a physical injury, that will require his wife's patience. Then I understand how being patient is noble. But for a man to purposely inflict pain, to deliberately disrespect, and to be continuously consciously deceitful, has nothing to do with chance. It is a choice.
Society does not give the woman any other option but to bear the burden. Society is simply asking the woman to go numb. They say, "Do not ask questions." Do not challenge him. Do not correct him. Do not care. Do not try to change him. Do not feel. Do not complain. They say, "a woman is the one who makes the marriage".
They say, "a woman is the one who carries and holds the marriage together". Meaning... Wait. I actually do not get that. I hear it all the time from women AND men. I am not sure whether it is a protocol quote or if it is one of those sayings repeated over and over again that has eventually lost its meaning.
Unless I have been living in an alternate reality, it doesn't even make sense. I roll my eyes or smack my forehead every time I hear it.
Suppressing emotions that are unjustly provoked is not healthy forbearance. It might lead to psychological and physical problems. Smiling outwards while crying inside can be nerve wrecking. Living while dying is not living at all.
The whole family is affected. The children will assume that men can behave in which ever way they choose while women have to put up with it. It is a negative cycle. I heard so many cases where women wish their husbands dead, because that is the easiest way out of the marriage. And who knows under what circumstances those men actually die from??? A state-ordered autopsy is not the general rule here. Anyway...
