Gravity

Chapter 14: John

It's funny really. I waited so long to kiss this girl, I thought I'd die before I'd get to, and I did. Kissing as a ghost is almost better than kissing when you're alive, in fact it just might be. See, when you're alive, you kind of take things for granted. Sure, you still feel something when you kiss, or hug, or touch in any way, but you don't really feel any of it. You feel smooth skin, soft lips, maybe a tingle or two. You might feel a bit of an adrenaline rush, your heart might race a little. It's possible you'll get flustered, your cheeks turning red. And you might have your eyes shut tight, and you may think you two are sharing a magical moment, and you probably are.

I just don't think you're quite feeling it. Kissing as a ghost is like being recharged. This lightning starts flowing through you the moment your lips touch. It becomes this circuit running through both of you and you just know you two are connected. You feel them, their soul, their spirit, their essence. It's like going up in flames and then suddenly finding yourself floating through the ocean. I don't think there really is anything quite like it. I guess it's like flying, it's something anyone can do, you know, by jumping out of a plane, doing some skydiving or something like that. But no one can actually jump off a cliff and suddenly have the power to fly. Kissing when you're alive is like skydiving, kissing as a ghost is like having the power to fly on your own.

All of this was running through my mind as I laid in the pool. It was the first place I'd gone when I got back, obviously. I was thinking about all of this and I was staring up at the sky, and then suddenly I noticed Zac's light wasn't on in his room. At first I just brushed it off, maybe he and Dave went somewhere, but then I remembered he was with Abigail, and his car was here, so where else could they be? I made my way into the house and up the stairs, quickly, I went into Zac's room. It was dark, and the only person in there was Dave, asleep on the floor.

Then it hit me. I was so busy making my way to Zac's room I hadn't even noticed that the light in my room was on when I passed it. I slowly entered the room I had once inhabited when I was alive. I spent a lot of time in here when I was younger, and it was always nice to come home to my room when I came back to visit. I hadn't really been in it since I died. Probably because it was a cozy place to do my music or read a book, it was now the place I had taken my own life. I didn't blame my family for not going in it. I sure as hell wouldn't, and I hadn't.

As I looked around at all my things, I realized all the stupid things I kept hidden wouldn't be hidden for much longer. Stay in my room long enough and you'd probably get all the answers you needed as to why I did what I did. Or, I guess if you really knew Zac he might tell you, but I doubt it. Speaking of Zac, there he was, sitting on the floor next to Abigail. How long had they been in here? Apparently long enough to find the photos I had stashed in a desk drawer under some papers. They weren't anything bad, just photos that brought back good memories. Zac had most of the photos laid out on the floor beside him. Pictures of him and I and pictures of trips the family had taken together. But he was holding one in his hand, the only one in a frame.

It was the picture I had taken of Audrey that day at Meadow Creek. In the bottom right corner I had drawn a small heart. Abigail took the photo from Zac, she looked at him curiously and he looked back at her, sympathy washing over his face. Oh man. He's gonna tell her.