Gravity

Chapter 16: John

I had fallen asleep. I didn't want to, I was trying to stay awake, but I was so worn out and there was a slow song playing in the car, I just, dozed off. It was a stupid thing to do, the snow was coming down hard and I needed to pay attention. I needed to make sure Alex was okay driving, and I thought he was, but he clearly wasn't. We always drove up from Arizona together, but usually I drove. He wasn't really use to the snow but he drove pretty slow in general and the bridge into town wasn't as busy as it normally was. Alex's sister lived a street or two down from our house so when we'd have time off we'd drive up together and he'd stay with her and I'd stay with my family until it was time to get back to the rest of the band in AZ.

We weren't really planning on coming back so soon. We had just been home for New Years so we didn't think we'd be able to visit for a while. But we had a little time before we had to get ready for a new tour so we decided to come up. A few old friends who were still in town for winter break had invited us up to a party just outside town. One of them had a place just before you hit the bridge and his parties were usually an interesting scene, but Alex and I were beat and just wanted to settle in. There seemed to be a lot of people home for winter break still, it was kinda odd always coming back and seeing everyone again.

I kinda wanted to go to the party, but crashing in my old bed just sounded so much better. Instead I fell asleep in the car, and we ended up crashing on the bridge...

There was a lot of ice, and although Alex was driving slow, he began to slide right into the other lane. I jolted awake to him yelling and the bright lights of the car we were about to hit filling my view. The next thing I knew I was crawling out of a broken window into this unsettling silence. I stumbled about, trying to get my head together, Alex was already out, he sat a little bit away from the other car with his head in hands, his phone lying next to him. The screen was still lit up and there was a little bit of blood on it from his hands. He had already called 911.

I wanted to say something but I didn't know what. I wasn't even sure what happened exactly, I began looking around me. I almost couldn't believe that what I was looking at, I had been involved in. It was unreal, like looking at a horrific scene from a movie. And then it got worse. I noticed the driver's side door on the car we had hit was open, and a girl was inside. Her back against the seat, arm hanging outside of the car, head back against the headrest. Blood dripped from her fingertips and from her forehead.

I started to walk over to her, my pace quickening. My chest started to feel tight, my breathing speeding up. As I got closer I realized who it was, and the world around me collapsed.

"No. No. No, no, no, no! No!" I was running towards her now. I couldn't feel anything, the throbbing in my head, the blood running down my cheek, the piercing cold filling my lungs. I slowly pulled her out of the car and was now sitting on the ground holding her body tight against mine. "Oh God, please no.." Hot tears ran down my face. "Please wake up, just wake up, come on!" I stared at her face, it was still, she was still, and I knew she was gone, but I wouldn't let go. I couldn't let go. "Please don't leave me Audrey..." I pressed my forehead against her's, the snow swirling around us. I kissed her forehead and held her close until the ambulance came.

My heart, like the world I was surrounded by, cracked with a darkness that consumed me in a misery unlike any other. And not long after, I could no longer bear it.

After Alex and I were finally allowed to go home, I waited as long as I could to go back to the house. My parents wouldn't be home until next week, they had taken a trip. I knew Zac was home, so when I finally did make my way home, I went straight to the pool. Where I told him everything.

Two days after my parents had gotten back, I committed suicide. I felt the worst for Zac, I didn't want to leave him. But I loved her, and I wouldn't let go. I can't let go.