American Woman: Book 5 (Final)

Chapter 5

After much discussion between the doctor and Lenny, and some debate between him and Nelly, all of which Prince and I listened to but stayed out of, Lenny agreed it was best to go ahead and remove the baby from Mayte's body. The doctor was afraid of even more internal damage than they already knew about and wanted to get in there to further investigate. Nelly wanted to be in the room, but the doctor insisted only one person could be in there and so Nelly reluctantly stayed. Prince and I clung together as soon as Lenny walked off and we began to quietly pray together. As we finished and started to take a seat, I could feel Nelly burning a hole through us with her gaze. I cut my eyes over and saw her just glaring at us. I wanted to hold my tongue but I just couldn't. "What is the matter? Are you mad that we are praying for them?!" I asked.
"I'm not mad. I'm just in shock. Unless you are praying to Satan or something..."
"I understand you hate me. Ok! I get it. No I didn't always do Mayte right while she worked for me and while we were dating and married. But nobody is perfect! And I've apologized and made amends with Mayte. And really that's the only person I need forgiveness from about that. It's between her and me. And we have moved on. We have both found happiness elsewhere..."
"Happy?! You think she's happy?!" Nelly argued.
"Well not right at this moment obviously..." Prince begins.
"She's not happy. Lenny isn't any more good or right for her than you were. She needs to move on from you rockstars and find a regular man who will treat her the way she needs to be treated...."
"Lenny is a wonderful man. I don't think you know him, or your own daughter for that matter. Mayte is very happy with Lenny. I think she's the happiest she's ever been since I've known her." I defend. "Like Prince said, we have buried the hatchet with Lenny and Mayte. And just for your information, we never cheated on them. We don't taunt them with our life or children either. They love our girls and our girls love them. And we most certainly do not pray to Satan. That is absurd. We are both Christians. And as a Christian, I will pray for you. Pray that you can let go of the bitterness you have towards Prince. If Mayte can, you surely can too. And I'll also pray that you take the time to get to know the true Lenny. He and Mayte are a great couple and I pray you will want to see them happy. I don't know any mother in this world that doesn't want their child's happiness."
Thankfully that seemed to shut her up and I dare say she almost looked ashamed as she turned her gaze elsewhere. Prince leans into my ear, "wow babe I am impressed. Nobody has ever made her shutdown that quickly that I've ever witnessed. And just like you left the praying for Sy's soul up to me, I'll leave the praying for her up to you. Bc her not being a bitter old hag will be nothing short of a miracle from God for sure." He chuckled.
"I wonder how long this will take?" I asked nervously.
"It didn't take long with Ahmir. But these circumstances are different so I have no idea." Prince answered, putting his arm around me and squeezing my shoulder. "Man, I can't believe that's been almost 10 years ago." Prince mutters in disbelief. "I wonder what he would have been like if he lived. What are 10 year old boys into?"
Prince has never said much about Ahmir in all the years I've known him and he sure has never pondered aloud something like that. My heart broke for him in that moment as this terrible tragedy seemed to open up that wound for him somewhat. Sometimes I admit I do forget that he has a deceased child. Albeit I did miscarry one of our children, but to have an actual baby in your arms and then it be ripped away. I just can't fathom it. "I have no idea honey. But a 10
year old son of yours, I have no doubt would have been into guitars or drums or the piano or something along those lines." I laugh. "With both your and Mayte's genetics, I'm sure he would have been very talented in the arts."
"Yeah, probably." Prince says with a faint smile as he seems to be daydreaming about that. "But you know, if he was still here, there is a big chance you and I wouldn't be together. Which means there would be no Devon and Waverly and that's too much to even process. So, even in the worst of tragedies, like this one right now, there may be a silver lining somewhere, someday."
"That's a really beautiful thought. It's hard to digest what that blessing in disguise could possibly be right now though." I answer with a sigh.
"I know. And I didn't mean that maybe Lenny and Mayte would find other people and have children with them or anything. I just, I don't know. I just hope this doesn't destroy them as a couple. But even more so just destroy them. We both know neither Lenny nor Mayte have dealt with past tragedies very well. That worries me, especially if neither one can help the other. We have got to be there for them. Or at least make sure they are getting therapy or whatever they may need." He insists.
"Well look who's trying to save the world now." I chuckle.
"It's just Mayte. I mean at least Lenny has Zoe. We have our girls. She now has lost 2 sons. Two that she has carried to almost full term. Two that she didn't even get to say goodbye to. Two that she will never get to hear say their first word even. I just don't understand it. I don't understand God in times like this and it is really hard not to be angry with Him or wonder how He can be so cruel sometimes...."
"Baby..." I grab his hand in mine.
"I know. I know God is not cruel but damn this is cold. And it makes me really question what they say about God not giving someone more than they can handle. He is really testing her I suppose."
"I'm not sure what God's plan is, we just have to trust it. I'm having to work at not being angry too. I don't even know if angry is right though, I'm more just sick and heartbroken. How could just a few hours ago I be feeling that sweet boy kick in her belly and now he's gone? Just like that. It makes me want to race home right now and hold our babies and never let them go."
"We can't leave in that kind of fear but I understand what you mean, momma. God, if something were to ever happen to them, I honestly couldn't go on. I don't know how people do it...."
"Well you have already done it sweetheart..."
"Not like that though. Don't get me wrong, it was devastating. I wish my son would have lived. I would loved to have known him and bonded with him. But he was taken before that happened so I was spared from what I think is unimaginable." Prince explained.
After that we fell silent, both torn up about what was happening and I think also praying we would never have to experience what Prince called the "unimaginable." We really didn't do a whole lot of talking for the next couple of hours. We just held tight to one another with and found comfort in each others' presence and arms.
Finally after what felt like an eternity, Lenny emerged from a back hallway. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked every bit his age, plus some, in that moment. "He's perfect. Absolutely perfect." He got out in a very shaky tone. "4 pounds, 7 ounces. 17 inches. Already had a head full of hair. He's the most beautiful boy I've ever seen...."
"And how's Mayte?" Nelly asked nervously.
Lenny looked down and shook his head. "She's stable. Doctor said her pelvis completely crushed her uterus and Fallopian tubes. He's removing everything...."
"Oh my God!" Nelly shrieked. "She can never have a child?!"
"She will never be able to get pregnant." Lenny responded. "But I'm going to figure out a way for her to have children if it kills me! But I can't think about that right now. I've got to focus on her recovery and saying goodbye to our son. Excuse me, I've got to make a phone call to Zoe." He walks out of the waiting room, leaving the four of us alone again.
Nelly began to sob into the shoulder of her husband. I felt even more sick to my stomach than I already was and I could tell by the look on Prince's face that he felt the same way. "What the fuck kind of silver lining will there ever be now?!" Prince slightly growled. "This is beyond cruel...."
"I don't know." I interjecting, my chin wobbling as I spoke. "But medical science is amazing and advancing all the time. Maybe they will figure something out. I mean Devon was born profoundly deaf, and she can hear and communicate...."
"Jensen, if a woman doesn't have her reproductive parts, she can't get pregnant or carry a child. End of story. And don't be putting those kinds of ideas in Mayte's head. Don't crush her even more." He demanded.
"I would never do that..."
"Yes you would bc you would so badly want to fix this for her. Or give her some kind of hope in despair. But you need to stay out of this one. It's between Lenny and Mayte what they decide do as far as children one day..."
"I know that!" I argue. "I was just trying to be encouraging. What do you want me to do? Wallow with her. Is that helpful?"
"No. I don't know. But don't tell her it's possible for her to have a child when it's not. I know for damn sure that won't help matters." Prince ordered. "Just empathize with her and tell her how sorry you are and that you're there for her. That's it and that's all."
"Yes sir." I groan, rolling my eyes at his sudden controlling attitude. "Are you ready to go home?"
"Yeah. I think this would be a good time to call it a night. Shit I guess I'll tell them we are leaving and to let Lenny know to call us if he needs anything." He responds, referring to Mayte's parents.

Even though the girls were already asleep by the time we got home, I made sure to sneak into both of their bedrooms. I laid down with Devon for awhile and just held her close and breathed her in. Then I went to Waverly's crib and stared at her for the longest time, wishing I could crawl in and hold her too. I was kind of hoping Prince would be asleep when I got back to our bedroom. Something about the way he came off about the news about Mayte and basically what I could and couldn't do and say really rubbed me the wrong way. And I sure didn't want to end this horrible day in a fight with him. I was hoping to sleep on it and maybe not be so bent out of shape about it tomorrow. But I temporarily forgot that Prince is part vampire and there was no way he would be asleep by 11:00. He at least had the tv on so I was hoping I could sleep into bed and go to sleep quickly. I quickly washed my face and put on my silk pajamas and climbed into bed. "You don't want to watch this with me?"
"No thanks. I'm exhausted. I just want to try to sleep." I respond.
"You didn't even ask what it was. Come on baby it helps get your mind off things, plus watching tv always seems to be like a sleeping pill for you." He chuckles. "You'll be out like a light in no time. Come here." He grabs me and lays me on his chest.
I know he meant well, but that did it for me. "How about letting me make my own decisions and do what I want to do, not what you want or are forcing me to do?!!" I sit up and say in a slightly raised voice. 
"Geez babe! You make me sound like a dictator...."
"Well you kind of come off that way!" I argue.
"Since when?!! Bc I pulled you into me to watch tv bc I know it helps you fall asleep faster and damn, yeah, I guess I wanted to cuddle with you bc this day has been shit! Selfish me!" He fires back. "Fine go back to your side if it's that big of a deal! I'll just snuggle with this pillow."
"Get real Prince. It's not about this moment. It's about how you spoke to me and what you are commanding of me to be like with Mayte. You didn't see me telling you what you could or couldn't say or do to her or Lenny! She's my friend too. We are closer than you and her are, we are closer than you and Lenny too I dare say. Plus we are women. You don't understand! Unless you have become Camille again or something..."
"Cute, Jensen. Real cute. Side note I never said I was Camille..."
"Well you said you had a woman inside you or something..."
"I don't know, nor care, what I said. What I meant was I was in touch with my feminine side more than most men. But no I guess I can't grasp what this would be like for a woman. It's hard enough for a man, so I could only imagine. I didn't mean to come off that way. I'm just worried you are going to be so distraught over her infertility that you will either get way too involved and try to like research stuff and get her hopes up in some way or you will persuade her to adopt or do something quickly that she may not be ready for. I know you would mean well, but you just need to be the support on her ideas and actions, not the ringleader. I just know how Mayte was years ago and she has the ability to go down a very dark path and our focus needs to be on her mental state, not on figuring out how she can have children. Ok?"
"Is that what you did? After Ahmir? Did you try to get her to have more children right away or something?" I pondered, suddenly realizing where he might be coming from.
"Yeah. I mean I just wanted to fix everything, for her, and myself. I was devastated, but she was not even functioning. I thought if I got her pregnant again right away she would be happy again. So as soon as she healed I basically forced her to start trying again. She, nor I, were in any mental condition for any of it. But I was so focused on 'fixing' her and the situation that I was blinded by that. And then it took several months for her to get pregnant so that compounded the problem further, then she miscarried and there was no continuing after that. We were over and her mentality was worse than ever. I don't want you to repeat my mistakes, and I don't want her to have a repeat of it all either. I plan on advising Lenny too. Any future children talk needs to come after, maybe way after, she has a healthy mind."
"Alright, baby. I get it now. I completely understand where you are coming from. But that's the way you should have told me the first time. From an advice/been here done that kind of way. Not fucking Adolf Hitler!"
"Oh Jensen, Hitler had nothing on me in my prime. You don't even know what controlling is until you knew me in my 20s and most of my 30s." He chuckled.
"Like what? What's the most controlling thing you've ever done?" I asked.
"With a girlfriend or band member or just person in general?"
"Doesn't matter. Girlfriend I guess." I reply.
"Too many to name. Probably the most shameful one was not letting Sheila attend her grandmother's funeral...."
"What?! Why?! That's horrible. Did you not get along with the grandma or something?"
"I didn't even know her. I'm sure she was a nice lady. We were touring. The show must go on..."
"You couldn't find someone else to play drums for a couple of concerts?"
"Of course I could have, and easily. I just didn't want to. And I had no connection to what family meant at the time either. Plus to me a grandma wasn't even considered immediate family...."
"Wow!"
"I know. I was a dick..."
"Tator!"