American Woman: Book 5 (Final)

Chapter 15

After the Vegas stint was over, we returned to Minnesota for the first time with Reign. We got back just in time to register Devon for kindergarten. After lots of discussions among ourselves, Kim and Brian, and the school administrators, Prince and I decided to enroll her in regular school. If we felt that was not best for her, we would then look into a school for hearing impaired children. Prince was also hesitant about regular school for privacy and safety issues but would also play that one by ear as we went along. After turning in all the paperwork, it hit me hard. She still seemed like my baby, even though we had two younger than her. And even though she drives us completely nuts most of the time, thinking about her not being around the rest of us all day really made me sad. It almost felt it was unfair. Like we would stay home and be a family and send her away everyday. I got so panicked about it a few days later that I started suggesting to Prince that we just hire a private tutor for her or I would look into homeschool curriculum that I could do with her.
"I mean hell I do have a teaching degree that has never been used."
"Bc you are too busy being a wife and mother. I truly see now that it is a full time job. I don't know how women do it. And you don't even use a nanny. But I want you to be her mom, not her teacher. I mean I will go for a tutor if you really want, but I thought we wanted to try to let her be as normal as possible...."
"I know. I still want that. I just don't know how well it's going to fit into our lifestyle. I mean there will be no more touring or extended stays in LA or anywhere else during the school year. Can we, you, really do that?" I question.
"Of course I can. Think about the beginning of our relationship. We pretty much did it for a long time...."
"Yes, but when your career got a resurgence after Musicology we were here way less and now you're in high demand again since the Super Bowl..."
"Well whose fault is that?! Remembere I didn't want to do it." He chuckled. "But um speaking of...a short stay in London has been thrown around."
"For the summer?"
"End of summerish. Like August/September."
"Prince! That's right when school starts. We can't be in London. See this is exactly what I am talking about..."
"So you and Devon can stay there up until school starts and then come back and..."
"And what you miss seeing her off to her first day of school?! What about Waverly and Reign?! They stay with you?! They come back with me and I get to function as a single mom?! This is bullshit! I knew this would eventually happen..."
"You knew what would happen?" He grows defensive.
"Career over family...."
"Oh my God! Please enlighten me how I've done that?! You better not even bring up the damn Super Bowl! I don't record, rehearse, or tour near like I used to. When I do tour, y'all come with me. I can't believe you have the nerve to say something like that. I have put my career on the back burner for you and our family."
"I didn't say it has happened, I am saying it probably will now. We have completed our family so you want to go claim your musical god status. This was fun while it lasted type of thing..."
"You couldn't be more wrong!"
You've already begun it by this London thing over Devon starting school...."
"You think I would miss her first day of school?! Sometimes I think you really don't know me...."
"You said she and I could come back..."
"What I meant, if you would ever let me finish before jumping to conclusions, is y'all can came back a little early if you need to prepare anything and I would be here at least for that day! Damn!" Prince spats and storms out of the room.
"You still didn't answer about our other two kids!" I yell after him, even though I knew I was in the wrong and he couldn't hear me. I felt like a fool, but wasn't ready to admit it yet. I didn't come out of the bedroom for awhile that morning. When I finally did, the house was quiet, like silent. I figured Prince had taken them into the yard until I saw a note on the kitchen counter. "Eye took the kids 2 Paisley with me. All 3!"
I knew the last part was a dig at me about coming back and being a single mom if he stayed in London by himself. I felt so stupid. Even if I did come back with all of them, I know it wouldn't be for long. And I couldn't even begin to count the times Prince has suggested, almost begged, for us to get a nanny to help sometimes. I hate when my selfishness gets in the way. I knew how good I had it with Prince and I didn't want him to ever think I didn't realize it or appreciate it.
After eating a late breakfast, I did some light exercising, one to help with my stress and two bc Mayte and Lenny's wedding was coming up in less than 2 weeks and I was almost to my pre-Reign weight. They weren't really doing anything big or having much of the traditional things, like groomsmen or bridesmaids. So it's not like I had a part in the wedding, but I still wanted to feel good in the dress I had picked out to wear.
I decided to prepare a picnic lunch and head over to Paisley. It was such a beautiful day in mid May and I knew Prince probably had no idea what he was going to feed the kids, other than to ask someone to go get something from somewhere. Paisley has quickly turned into a place of business only. The kitchen and refrigerator were basically bare the times I had been there since we moved out. It was sad not seeing Diana, Maria, and even Amy, on a weekly basis. Of course Diana and Amy worked for "Prince," the musician, so nothing changed for them other than he just didn't live there anymore. Maria worked for just Prince though. She still kept up the cleaning duties at Paisley, but with nobody living there, she didn't have near as much to do, and of course all cooking duties had ceased. She had offered numerous times to come to our house like once a week to clean and fix meals. We are still battling that one out.
As I begin walking to the entrance, I hear giggling and playful screaming coming from the playground area. I smiled brightly as I made my way around there. "Ready or not, here I come!" I hear Prince shout, and I turn the corner just in time to see him walking around pretending not to see the girls as they were still plainly in sight and squealing. I laughed at how cute they were thinking he really couldn't see or hear them. Finally, neither one could take it anymore and they begin shouting his name so he could "find" them.
"Ok, 10 more minutes on the equipment and then we need go back inside and check on Reign and see if he is awake and ready to come play." Prince announces.
"Reign can't play, daddy!" Devon giggles as she climbs up to the slide.
"He a baby!" Waverly adds, reaching up for Prince to help her climb the steps.
"Well I know that girls! But he can lay out here on a blanket and enjoy the sunshine and play with his toys. That's what y'all used to do before you got big enough to play." He tells them as he helps Waverly down the slide.
"Where's mommy? I'm hungry!" Devon cries after a couple minutes.
"She's at home. You don't need her to eat..."
"I don't want pancakes!" She whines.
"I can fix more than just pancakes." Prince huffs. "But, uh, there's really nothing here to cook so...."
I decided to let him off the hook and walked up to them. "Did I hear someone was hungry?"
"Mommy!" Devon yelled and rushed over to hug me like she hadn't seen me in ages. Waverly mocked her even though I think she really wanted to just keep playing bc she bolted right back for the play area after giving me a slight hug.
"What's in the basket?" Devon's eyes lit up.
"A picnic lunch! I'll go get the baby and a blanket. Be right back. You keep playing." I told her.
Prince didn't even acknowledge me as he continued to help Waverly maneuver around on the equipment. When I headed back out with a large blanket and a fussy, hungry baby, Devon was already elbow deep in the basket and shoveling things in her mouth. "Hey! Get out of there!" I laugh. "Wait until we are all ready!"
"Daddy said I could!" Devon protested.
I looked over at Prince who just shrugged his shoulders and continued to play with our littlest girl. "Well go tell them to come over here and eat with us. Tell daddy I need help spreading out the blanket since I'm holding Reign, please."
Prince walked back over with Devon and took Reign from me. "He said they aren't hungry. So more for us, I guess!" Devon said excitedly.
As soon as I got the blanket situated, Prince gives Reign some kisses on his face and lays him gently on the soft blanket. He, again without acknowledging or even looking at me, stands up and goes back over to Waverly. I suppose we were going to be talking second hand through Devon, which was not my intention when I sent her over to him. I wanted us to have a family picnic, but I knew better than to push it. When he's in these moods, it's better to just stay silent and let him make the first move. I've learned this more times than I can count over the years. However, I did want to tell him to at least send Waverly over to eat. He is slightly holding her hostage just so he can ruin my plans.
After I got everything spread out for Devon and me, I got Reign situated to breastfeed. This had become so second nature that Devon didn't even bat an eyelash or ask a zillion questions like she did the first couple of weeks after he was born. As she and I talked about the food and things they played today, Mark walked out to where we were. "Hey Jensen! Long time no see....oh! Um sorry!" He says, his face getting slightly red and he quickly makes his way over to Prince. I was confused until I looked down and remembered my boob was out of my shirt so Reign could eat. I rolled my eyes as men are so silly about it. A woman wouldn't have cared at all. Either way, I wasn't going to stop feeding my child. After looking to be in deep discussion with Prince for several minutes, he makes his way back inside, avoiding walking too close to the blanket. Prince made his way over with Waverly. "She is hungry." He announces to nobody in particular. I started making her a plate and decided to try my luck on initiating a conversation. "What did Mark want?"
"To discuss putting in a playground at our house so we don't have to come over here for that." He says, dryly.
"Oh, was that his idea or..."
"No! It was mine! I put him on a mission. I know it's hard to believe since I only think about my career and all. And, by the way, next time someone, especially a man, comes into a space where you are feeding the baby, let's put your titty away...."
"You know what? I'll just put it away right now! I'm sorry Reign. Feeding time is over since men are so stupid...."
"Ummmm!" Devon and Waverly both say in unison.
"Come on girls. We can finish our lunch at home. I'm sure daddy needs to work and we need to get home so I can feed Reign in private and...."
"Why don't you just go home? We were all fine here without you." Prince says coldly.
"Fine!" I shriek, pissed off majorly. "Here, feed him with your tit!" I shove Reign into his grasp and jump to my feet. "Since y'all are so happy without me around, just stay at Paisley for awhile. I'm out!" I stomp off, muttering all sorts of expletives under my breath the entire way to my car.
Somehow before I even got inside the car, I felt two arms wrap around me and one hand closing the driver door. "Nuh uh momma. You ain't going nowhere." I feel Prince's hot breath on my ear. He had his body pinned to my back and my front was melded to the car. "Why don't you come in and look over the proposed London schedule and approve it?"
"Screw you!" I spat, trying to wiggle out of his grasp.
"If you insist." He chuckles, pushing his crotch up against my ass. "It would actually be my pleasure. It turns me on when you're mad, and your damn body in this outfit. Mmmmmm!" He growls.
"So you purposefully tried to piss me off back there?" I accuse. "It's some sort of stupid fetish..."
"No. I hate fighting with you. But it is pretty hot when you get angry sometimes, but more so when you're not mad at me. I do try my best to always keep you happy, Jensen..."
"I know you do and you do keep me very happy. I'm sorry about this morning. I should have known you wouldn't miss her first day of school. You've proven time and time again that we are your priority...."
"Exactly." He says, turning me around to face him. "It kills me that you think I've chosen ANY thing over the four of you. EVERY decision I make, especially professionally, my first thought is my family. My whole way of doing things has changed since I met you."
"I know. I guess I just figured you just hadn't thought about her starting school since it's something we have never had to consider before and then got scared that you wouldn't care..."
"No! It was the first thing out of my mouth when I was approached about London. I asked the dates and when they said August and September, I told them my daughter was starting kindergarten in the fall and no dates could interfere with me being there for her first day at the very least. Birthdays, their milestones, our anniversary, all of it, is always at the forefront of my brain when planning things." He explains. "I feel like I constantly have a calendar in front of me during meetings so as to not let anything be planned where I would miss anything important or so we won't be somewhere else when we needed to be in Minnie. It's fucking exhausting!"
"Baby, I haven't given you enough credit. I mean I knew you put us first, but I didn't realize you put that much effort into it. I feel like such a bitch. I'm so sorry I doubted your willingness and ability to figuring it all out. It's a lot to juggle. I don't think I could do it. Sometimes I feel like I add stress instead of take it away and I hate that. I want me and family time to be your de-stressor."
"It normally is! But be realistic honey. Anyone's home life if stressful at times. Life is not a fairytale all the time, even for a Prince. And I don't expect it to be. But I hope now, more than ever, you realize it's God and family, then a giant space before career and music. I am NOT concerned about achieving or reclaiming any sort of status musically...."
"I know." I say, sheepishly. "That was just Jensen shooting off at the mouth. But I guess I'll go home since you all are so fine without me."
"And that was Prince shooting off at the mouth. I mean we can function on our own for a few hours but we, I especially, need you pretty desperately after about the five hour mark...."
"Anytime a meal is approaching?" I laugh.
"Pretty much. Well and I mean Reign needs your boobs, maybe even more than me right now." He jokes. "Your supply from pumping isn't much and the poor guy can't seem to handle most formulas so he can't be away from you for too long at all."
"Then I'll just take him home with me. Plus I don't want to cause a panic with my titty hanging out." I roll my eyes.
"Ok I may have went a little overboard on that too. But when I saw you not even try to cover up when Mark came out, it hit a nerve. I don't want other men seeing any part of your naked body, no matter the situation. I never understood why men felt that way until I met you. Other women I almost wanted to show them off to make other guys jealous of me but I'm the opposite with you. I don't want anybody looking at you." He explained.
"I think it just means you've matured. But don't worry, when I'm breastfeeding, the baby's head blocks everything. I don't know any men who have been turned on by breastfeeding anyway. Boobs aren't sexual then."
"Well yours are to me, even then. But maybe it's bc it's my baby and my woman. When I was younger, I still would have tried to sneak a peek if I saw a woman's tit hanging out of her shirt though, no matter the situation. That's just what we are hardwired to do." He laughs.
"Well Mark seemed embarrassed, not intrigued..."
"Bc he knew I was standing there. You do NOT look at another man's wife when he's standing nearby...."
"Oh so you're saying you would look at another woman's boob if it was hanging out as long as her man wasn't around?"
"Single me, hell yes. But I'm happily married and can see perfect tits anytime I want, so no. But Mark is single. Very single."
"What does VERY single mean?" I chuckle.
"It means he is a big, horny, pervert...."
"No way! He's never come off that way to me." I reply.
"Bc you aren't a guy, or a girl he's trying to bang. Believe me, he's a perv. I bet he's screwed more women that have come through these Paisley doors than I have, for sure in the last decade or so."
"Well I would hope so recently." I say, wide eyed.
"You know what I mean. Even when I was in my multiple women at a time phase, he was still more of a pimp. He didn't even try to have 'girlfriends,' he would just fuck them a few times and move on to the next. We eventually had to have a 'no more employees' talk several years ago. I was going through certain jobs like crazy, having to hire new women monthly. So now he keeps it mainly outside of work, with occasional musicians who come to record, who he knows aren't here to stay."
"Is he not tired of it by now? I mean he has to be around your age. Is there really much fun in it after 20-30 years?" I ask.
"Not for me. But I guess some people never get tired of it or just don't desire more. Maybe one day somebody will capture his heart and he will stop. Like I did." He winks at me.
"Um that was for Mayte, not me." I chuckled.
"But I still lusted for women and flirted a lot even after I was committed to her. Only with you have I truly stopped it all." He clarifies proudly.
"You've never lusted for or flirted with a single woman in years? Come on baby."
"Nope! I don't want to! Plus I'm just never around woman like I used to be. Only my employees and if I ever did lust or flirt with them it was before you were around. I'm with you majority of the time."
"Oh so it's just that you don't have a chance anymore?" I laugh.
"I don't put myself in those situations to be tempted anymore. Another thing you don't even realize I do. Brother Gibson advised me years ago to not be alone with another woman besides you, so I don't. If I need to speak to one of my female employees privately about something, I either do it by phone, or I make sure someone else is in the room. Legally it's a smart thing to do anyway. I can't even remember the last time I was alone with a woman besides you or a family member. It really has changed so much for me. If only I had been given that advice long before I was in my forties!" I laughed.
"Well I'm kinda glad you weren't or you may have found someone before me."
"True. I may have been this super straight laced guy who settled down at like 25 and had children who would be in their teens and twenties now..."
"You probably do!!!"
"Well then great! I'll have them babysit for us..."
"Prince!"
"Well then stop the nonsense and come look at the London schedule." He insists, dragging me by the hand back to the lobby doors.
As we enter, it was like a wild zoo. Devon was running around screaming and laughing while Amy tried to catch her, somehow I assumed it wasn't an actual game but she had done or said something to Amy. Waverly was jumping off the couches and chairs repeatedly into Diana's arms and squealing. And Maria was holding a hysterical Reign who was apparently still starving. "Looks like they got this. Come on." Prince says, leading me towards his office.
"Babe!" I yell with a laugh.
He ushers me inside the door, locking it behind him. "In case they try to throw the kids back at us." He jokes. "Ok here it is." He says, shuffling through several papers and handing me the schedule.
"Oh it's only 21 shows." I proclaim immediately. "Ok yeah looks fine." I say, placing the paper back on his desk.
"That's it?! A major blowup fight and you look at it for 10 seconds and say it's fine! You're unbelievable sometimes!"
"Well I didn't realize it was so short. I thought like start in August and September and go on for months like Vegas. And it doesn't interfere with Devon starting school. You can easily come back and stay basically her whole first week."
"No kidding?!" He says, sarcastically. "But once I go back, I won't be here for basically a month. There might be a break or two long enough to come home for a couple nights. I don't want y'all doing the traveling with her in school. But I swear after this, nothing is even on the horizon. I'm taking an extended break from touring."
"Ok." I say, nonchalantly.
"Now I feel like you don't even care that I'll be away...."
"You get mad if I do get upset and mad if I don't get upset. There's no pleasing you." I tease.
"I don't want you getting upset bc you think I'm choosing career over us and our family, but I would like a little sadness that you will miss me or at least a little freakout that you'll have the kids alone for a few weeks without much assistance from me. Something to make me feel wanted or needed..."
I grab him by the shirt collar and pull him towards me. "They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Just imagine what it will be like once you get back...."
"Um we will both be exhausted?" He chuckles.
"Yeah, you're probably right." I laugh. "I will miss you for many reasons. But if it's just a few weeks apart and then you're back full time for awhile, I will survive. The kids will have a hard time though I'm sure. They haven't been away from you for more than a few days since...."
"Since a very dark time in my life." He finishes my sentence. "I'll talk to Devon and Waverly. I mean I'll keep Waverly with me if you want. I would Reign too if he didn't need your breasts. How about I have little babygirl for some of the time? That way when big babygirl is at school, you only have to focus on babyboy and then devote more time to her when she gets home, she may need a little extra attention at the beginning anyway." Prince suggests.
"I don't know. Maybe. That's a long time for Waverly to be away from home and mommy...."
"Come on baby. It's a long time for me to be away and alone. Give me somebody!" He laughs.
"Ok, but you've got to come back with her as much as possible. She's the one who keeps me the most sane." I joke.
"Reign doesn't do anything!" Prince defends his boy.
"Well he still doesn't sleep through the night and I'll have to be on a school schedule. That may take some major adjusting."
"God! Getting up early five days a week sounds like hell. Maybe I am on board for a tutor. Her going to school is really going to put a dent in our lifestyle...."
"That's what I was trying to say earlier. We are about to have to live like the rest of the world. Now I've done that semi-recently. Like in the past less than 10 years. When's the last time you have?"
"Not since high school. So like 30 years." Prince replies, matter of factly.
"Oh my god! This might be quite comical on my end. Watching you have to set an alarm and drive her to school and have to actually watch the clock to pick her up on time and go to bed at a semi-decent time."
"I can go right back to bed once I get back home in the mornings. I don't have to go to school. Poor kid. I'm kinda feeling sorry for her...."
"Well we have to function on her schedule. We can't make her go to bed early and let the other two stay up..."
"Why not? That's some of my best bonding time with them! Like 9:00-midnight." Prince whines.
"So if Devon has to get up around 6:30-7:00 to get ready and be to school on time. When she should go to bed?" I pick his brain.
"I don't know. Ten or eleven?"
"No! Oh my god! Kids her age need 10-12 hours of sleep...."
"What?! So she has to go to bed before 9:00?!!"
"Yep!"
"This sucks! School sucks!" Prince declares like a child.
Somehow I feel he's in for a more rude awakening than Devon is.