The Masks we Hide Behind || Peter Parker [1]

thirty-three: speechless

The following Monday morning I sleep through my alarm and wake up with about twenty minutes to get dressed and ready to go to school. I almost debate whether or not to even go, but I force myself into sweatpants and a sweatshirt and drag myself out of my apartment before taking off down the steps. Somehow, I arrive at midtown with only minutes to spare before the bell rings, and I head straight to my locker to hopefully meet up with my friends.

Almost immediately I spot MJ and smile as we make eye contact, stepping up to my locker as we do so. "Good morning," I mumble with a smile as I enter my combination.

"Morning," she replies softly as she studies me. It grows quiet for a moment as I dump my belongings into my locker.

"Mads, what's wrong?" She asks suddenly. I look up at her, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been acting kind of strange. Like, distant. Yeah. You've been acting distant." She lowers her voice before she continues. "Remember when we were talking about Peter the other day? How he's been acting weird?"

"Yeah..?"

"You've been acting like that. Kinda like Peter. What's up, did something happen?" MJ continues.

"Nothing happened." I reply slowly. "I'm being honest. I just couldn't make it to Ned's the other day because I didn't feel well. That's all."

"I don't know, we feel like it's more than that. Maybe it's just me-"

"We?" I ask.

"Ned kinda feels that way, too, that's all. We just want to make sure that you're okay." She says.

"Yeah, yeah, um, I'm fine."

"Okay. It's just you seemed so excited for Friday and then you didn't show, which was weird, so, I'm just...I don't know. Concerned. Worried. I just-"

"It's okay, MJ, I get it." I interrupt. "You don't need to worry, I'm fine." I add a smile at the end.

"Okay." She sighs. She doesn't buy anything I'm saying. But it's fine. It's fine.

After that, the day seems to go by pretty quickly, and I manage to get the majority of my work done in all of my classes, which leaves me with little homework. When the bell rings I'm practically the first one out of the doors, and I don't even think to go meet up with my friends and chat. I really just want to go home.

I enter the key to the front door of the apartment building and open the door, sighing and stopping myself as I start to step inside. I turn to our mailbox and pull out a small stack of envelopes delivered to us before stepping inside and traveling of the stairs to my apartment.

I twirl the keys on my finger before unlocking the door and stepping inside, sighing as I enter the kitchen and set the envelopes down.

"Mom? Lucas?" I call. I get no answer, meaning I'm home alone, thank god.

I enter my room and drop my backpack on the floor before collapsing into bed with a groan. My face is smushed against the pillow and my limbs are splayed out randomly on the soft sheets.

I lay there for god knows how long, and I roll onto my back and stare at my ceiling. I sit and I think. I think about everything - Lucas and Liz, Mom, Dad, Peter, MJ, Ned. Everything. But my mind lingers on my father, and I begin to cry.

I cry and I can't stop. My tears come out in sobs, and they hitch in my throat and my nose clogs, and tears pour out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I cry into my hands, I cry into my pillow, and I cry with my head rolled back.