Scholar

Nine

Even when I knew Ryan was coming over, I couldn't find it in me to wake up before noon. Whatever, if it was noon, at least I had an hour to get ready. I yawned and sat up. As usual, I stretched my arms over my head and groaned.

"So I came half an hour late, and you just woke up?" My head snapped to look up to see Ryan standing by my door frame, arms crossed with a complacent smirk. I rubbed my eyes. Okay, it obviously wasn't noon.

"Go away, I'm tired," I told him. Ryan gave a short, half-suppressed laugh and shook his head.

"Yeah, no, it's one-thirty. Time to get up, buddy." I rolled off my bed and stood up. I knew Ryan was staring at me, probably because I looked like complete trash, and walked towards my bathroom.

"I'm not your buddy," I mumbled. "Go away and just give me, like, five minutes, okay?" I turned to look at Ryan and saw him nod and walk away. I fixed my hair and brushed my teeth. Then, I walked back into my room and put on some clean pants and a shirt. I walked out and went into the living room. Ryan and Chelsea were talking, and I sat on the edge by Ryan.

"Hey, sleeping beauty," Chelsea sarcastically greeted me.

"Shut up," I mumbled.

"Don't get an attitude with me. You're the one who slept 'til one-thirty." I scrunched up my face and stuck my tongue out at her, and she threw a pillow at me. I picked it up and moved my hands toward her like I was going to throw it, but I tightly held on to it. She put her hands up and looked away. I laughed and dropped the pillow on the floor.

Suddenly, Ryan jabbed his fingers into my side. I let out a high pitched yelp and fell on the floor. My face turned a full shade of Embarrassment Red, and I glared at Ryan while he and Chelsea laughed at my misery.

"I didn't know you're ticklish, oh my God," Ryan commented as he laughed hysterically. I couldn't help the smile on my face. It felt like the edges of my lips were magnets being attracted to opposite magnets located by my ears.

"I hate you. I'm not," I insisted.

"Oh, of course not," he responded, the sarcasm basically dripping out of his mouth. He stood up and held his hand towards me. I skeptically looked at it then at him, and he scoffed. I grabbed his hands and was a little surprised at how strong he was. He pulled me up with enough force that I actually moved. I hopped to my feet and heard Chelsea sigh. I looked over at her and dropped Ryan's hand.

"I'm glad you two are friends now," she commented. Her tone was bland and slightly off-putting.

"Don't push it," I found myself defensively replying. Ryan shook his head and sat down, so I sat in the only available space next to him.

"Anyway, let's get this movie started," Ryan said.

"What movie?" Chelsea asked.

"Bucket List," Ryan and I said at the same time. We looked at each other, and I rolled my eyes while he laughed before looking back at Chelsea. She smiled.

"Oh my God, I love that movie," she gushed. Ryan turned back to me.

"How come she's seen it and you haven't?"

"Because he's a stick in the mud," Chelsea chimed before I could speak. The corners of Ryan's lips moved out and upwards, and his lips stretched into a smile, revealing his straight, white teeth. I realized he smiled a lot. Then, I realized I was staring and quickly looked away.

"At least you're seeing it now," Ryan said. I nodded. He opened Netflix on the TV and turned the movie on. Chelsea stood up.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Make popcorn," she said simply and went into the kitchen. 

"Hey, Alex, can I ask you something?" Ryan asked.

"You just did," I said with a smile. He gently nudged my shoulder. "I'm kidding, go ahead."

"Why isn't your dad in any of these pictures?" I tensed up completely and felt my heart crush. I never talked about my dad. "Sorry, was that a bad question? I didn't know." I sighed and shook my head.

"No, it's fine. He, uh, he's dead, and my mom didn't deal with it well, so she hid the pictures of him," I explained, barely even whispering. I didn't want to Chelsea to overhear. Neither of them dealt with his death well at all, and I simply hadn't at all. Part of me still thought he was just deployed overseas, and he'd come soon home. I looked down. I picked at my nails, a habit I had mostly dropped.

"I'm really sorry about that." I shrugged.

"I'm over it." I wasn't.

"When did it happen? Were you little?"

"Over the summer before freshman year." Ryan whistled, and I looked at him. He seemed stunned.

"That's fucking tough, dude." I smiled slightly for just a second and shrugged yet again.

"I guess." I looked down. I never really talked about it, and I definitely hadn't cried over him. I sure as hell wouldn't start.

"Can I ask how?" I was silent. I wasn't sure I could keep myself together and retell the story. My chest and eyes hurt, begging me to break down and tell him all the details. I shook my head and sighed, rubbing my eyes with my hands. There were no tears, just a weird pressure in my eyes like they wanted to produce tears, but I refused to allow it. 

"Course not, sorry," he said wrapped one arm around me and pulled me against him. I felt comforted and warm against Ryan. I felt at ease. I considered telling him. Those thoughts made their leave when I heard the microwave ding as it finished and jumped away from Ryan. I was lucky to have such quick responses because Chelsea walked in a moment later.

 When she came back, Ryan hit play on a new movie. That was how the three of us ended up watching movie after movie all afternoon. We re-watched some we'd already seen before and talked through them or cracked jokes. As it got later, I started to feel tired and yawned.  

"Let's do a horror one this time," Chelsea suggested as she picked the next movie. I leaned on Ryan a little the more tired I felt. He didn't seem to notice, but if he did, he didn't act on it and simply stayed relaxed and watched Chelsea put on a horror movie.

Less than halfway into it, I was bored out of my mind and really, really tired. I hardly slept during the week, so on the weekends, I practically hibernated. My eyelids turned to stone and fell shut. For some reason, I wasn't at all stressed about falling asleep on Ryan. I probably should have been, but when he put his arm around me, I felt calm and content for the first time in a long time.